


A Flood of Blood to the Heart

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Just to be sure, M/M, bumped up to mature for the last chapter, first attempt at multichapter fanfic yaaay, language from the start, mako nagisa and rei are basically in it once, mild anxiety, rin is an awkward baby, silly boys who like each other, the rinharu is strong in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-02-22 02:36:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2491325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You weren’t meant to happen. I wasn’t meant to think about you all the goddamn time, or get all flustered when you looked at me like you wanted to kill me or kiss me, when you smiled or said something stupid.<br/>You weren’t meant to know me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 16/1/15 - 2k hits ty so much<3  
> OKAY SO this is my first attempt at a multichapter fic that I’ve actually stuck with to the end, my first attempt at a Free! fic and my first time trying to express my love and obsession with everything rinharu :3 I hope I’ve done an okay job, and that you guys enjoy it. 
> 
> My Japanese geography sucks, don’t judge me. I also know nothing about life in Tokyo... or Japan in general, so things will be wildly inaccurate.
> 
> I didn’t write this story with chapters, it was more like one long thing split up into sections with little ~ things but for ease of publication and for you guys (hopefully) reading it, I tried to split it into manageable (but still quite long, I’m sorry) chunks ^.^ Hope it’s okay!

Haruka stared blindly out of the window, the incessant chatter of passengers bubbling around him, grating on his nerves and doing nothing to help soothe the churning in his stomach. With a deep sigh, he dragged his gaze from the city rushing by outside in a blur of colour and clasped both hands loosely on the table in front of him. His headphones were sprawled across the surface, tangled together in an annoying mess and his phone lay next to it, its scratched screen reflecting the rush of city outside the window.

He cast an eye to the nosy traveller on his left, whose white hot gaze he could feel drilling into the side of his skull. A girl with a wild shock of dark chocolate hair sat across the aisle from him, a large, think paperback clutched in her grasp. Only her eyes were visible over the top of it, round and reminiscent of caramel; a fierce blush flooded her cheeks as Haru’s eyes met her own wide, curious ones. She turned away immediately, shifting around in her seat to hide herself from view. Haru was unmoved – his heart didn’t skip a beat like it was meant to, his breathing didn’t hitch like the movies had shown him it would or how he knew Makoto read about in his manga. Instead, his bored gaze slid lazily away from her without a second thought and through the carriage in a vain attempt to find something to catch his interest.

A quick glance at the information display a little in front of him told him he only had to endure another 20 minutes on this train. Then he’d be free to relish in the calm tranquillity that was Tokyo city centre, enjoying a peaceful stroll through the teeming streets to Marunouchi in plenty of time to catch his next train, _obviously_. _What could go wrong?_ With a sharp sigh, Haru closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the dull, worn seat. _Great,_ he thought, a small, bitter smile ghosting across his features _._ He hadn’t even arrived yet and he was already wishing he was back at home.

~

_\- Next stop: Tokyo Station –_

Haru’s eyes snapped open. _Finally._ Grabbing his shoulder bag from the seat beside him with one hand and pulling on his jacket with the other, Haru steadied himself and stood to reach for his suitcase which was stored above in the overhead area. With a cursory glance at his vicinity, he tugged the case down with a quick pull and hauled it away from his seat. He felt the girl’s heavy gaze on his back as he passed by, but before she could approach or – _god forbid-_ attempt to talk to him, Haruka was pushing his way through the crowd in front of the doors in a blur of midnight hair and pale skin, jostling for position. After casting sharp glares at the slimy business man on his right and the gum-chewing mother on his left, he shifted the strap of his bag higher onto his shoulder and glanced down at his watch. He had exactly 24 minutes before his next train left. _Great._

Stifling a groan as the doors of the train slid open silently, Haru leapt onto the platform and into the tide of passengers flooding towards the exit. His suitcase rumbled along behind him, but the noise was lost in the swell of shouting around him. Luckily, the exit signs were large and Haru had no trouble following the crowd until they spilled out onto the streets of Tokyo. Standing in the middle of the pavement, Haru stared up at the sight around him – massive tower blocks extended high into the sky, their tops lost in the cloud of smog that hung over the city. The people were everywhere. Like rats in a sewer, they scurried here and there, bumping and jostling each other with snarls and glares to match. Sharp suits and newspapers, worn hoodies and dwindling cigarettes, tight tops and far too much leather - Haru swallowed once and licked is lips - this was definitely not Iwatobi. Turning his head to spot a street sign or anything that would help him get where he was going. _Left or right,_ he thought. Those were his options. With a wistful glance back into the relative safety of the train station, Haru ploughed forward in what he hoped was the right direction.

~

 _Stupid,_ Haru cursed, _this is so stupid!_ He’d been stumbling around for what felt like hours, every turn he took looking identical to the one before. His shoulder burned with the effort of pulling his case and he could feel sweat pooling on his collarbone, dampening his t-shirt. A glance at his watch told him he had less than 10 minutes to miraculously find his way to the station. Elbows knocked him forward and backward, the current of pedestrians trying to drag him along with them. He stood his ground, head tilted upwards as he tried to breath cool air, not the horrible warm stuff that was radiating from the press of bodies around him. Children, business men and glamorous women alike, consumed in their own worlds all surged past him at high speeds.

This was Tokyo – this was the big city Haru had always dreamed of, that his father had talked of unendingly. He’d talked about its graceful, towering skyscrapers, its bustling city centre and the smell of success that emanated from everyone living there. Whatever Haru smelt now, it definitely did _not_ remind him of success. Attention lost to the city around him, Haru failed to catch himself when a heavy bulk smashed into him from behind – his belongings went flying, knocking a fair few travellers off their feet as well, as Haru himself was thrown onto the damp concrete. Time slowed as the floor rushed up to meet him. He felt his nose smack into it with a sickening crunch and his wrist twisted as it was caught under him.

“Fuck,” he moaned, cheek pressed up against the gritty floor. The flood of people moved around him, not one stopping to assess the damage although he heard some mutter in anger at the disruption to their day. Baring his teeth, Haru shifted onto his side and propped himself up on his good hand. He felt hot liquid roll in rivulets down his chin and between his lips, coating his tongue with an acrid iron flavour. He spat onto the floor, saliva and blood mingling in an unpleasant glob that landed precariously close to scuffed pair of trainers that had appeared just in front of him.

“Shit, man, are you okay?” Glancing up, Haru appraised the stranger with a cold glare. Dressed in a dark jacket and jeans, a shock of red hair was splayed wildly around his face, a few stray strands decorating his forehead which was creased with concern. Wide eyes searched Haru’s face, wincing as they catalogued his injuries and clouding with guilt. Haru set his jaw – this man was to blame.

“I’m fine.” He replied shortly and started to shift his weight onto his feet. The man clocked his intensions.

“I really don’t think-“ Haru cut him off with another sharp glance and, using his shoulder bag for leverage, hauled himself to his feet. His head swum, vision blurring as sharp, hot needles of pain lanced through his body. His face throbbed and he could feel the sticky wetness still leaking onto his jacket, which was stained and damp with blood. Anxious hands hovered close to his shoulders, waiting for Haru to collapse back to the ground. _I haven’t got time for this,_ he thought and a glance at his watch confirmed his suspicions – 4 minutes, maximum.

“Shit,” Haru murmured, ignoring his assailant’s weak protests. He raked his eyes over the crowd, spotting his suitcase resting about 2 meters away and being battered with abuse from pedestrian footsteps. Haru lurched towards it with his shoulder bag in tow and damaged wrist cradled close to his chest. Someone shouted for him to stop, but Haru ignored them. He grasped the cold plastic and yanked it behind him as swarms of people bumped passed him, hot pain shooting through him every time somebody knocked against him. He shoved his way through the crowd, ignoring the startled looks his battered face was attracting. He felt someone grasp at the back of his jacket and he caught a flash of bright red hair in his peripheral vision. Without bothering to turn around, he tore himself away and was immediately immersed in the crowd. He let the tide pull him away, feet skipping against the pavement and suitcase bouncing along behind him.

~

 _I need another napkin_ , Haruka mused and tossed the blood-drenched ball of paper onto the seat next to him with a sigh. The train gave a lurch and Haru turned his attention to the slowly receding station outside. People still milled about on the platform, chatting into phones and tapping away at the screens. His breathing had finally slowed down to normal and the ache in both his chest and his wrist had dulled to a slow throb.

As it had turned out, the station had been merely meters away from where he’d fallen and signs had come into view, advertising the entrance to the tube station almost straight away. Relief had flooded through Haru and minutes later he had flopped into his seat, exhausted. The ticket attendant had given him a worried look and asked if he required any medical attention, but Haru was in no mood for conversation. After a short discussion that consisted of one word answers from Haruka and long, probing questions from the man, he had moved away and Haru had been left alone to his thoughts.

It was merely hours ago that he’d been sat at home in Iwatobi, back in the village he’s known since birth, surrounded by the people he valued most – all the people he’d left behind. His mum, Nagisa, Rei, _Makoto_ … his heart gave a stutter of guilt at the thought of his best friend, remembering the look of fear and sorrow that had consumed his features at the mention of Haru’s relocation. He had laughed it off, bright, tender grin break through the dark clouds that had begun to settle on his features. He’d joked about how of all the people he knew, Haru was his last guess to be moving to Tokyo of all places. Even on his last day in Iwatobi, Makoto had failed to hide _all_ of his emotions and had barely kept himself together as Haru had boarded the train jerkily. Shaking off the uneasy feeling settling again in his stomach, he fished in his pocket for his mobile before flipping it open, craving distraction.

  _– You have one new voicemail message –_

Haru held the phone up to his ear, a small smile forming on his lips as Makoto’s voice chirped through the speaker.

 _Haru-chan! You’re probably on the train right now, or in Tokyo somewhere, but we all miss you already! Nagisa has been nagging me to call you all day, he started just after you left. ~I did not! Don’t listen to him, Haru-chan!~_ Haru grinned as Nagisa’s voice cut in, clearly in the background but still as loud and annoying as ever.

 _Nagisa, please, I’m trying to leave a message Haru can_ actually _understand! Rei, could you entertain him? **What**?! I’m sort of busy at the moment! _ ~Rei-chan, come and buy some ice cream with me!~ **_Nagisa-kun, get off me!_** ~Awww, Rei-chaaaan, do I have to use force?!~ **_N-no, stop it Nagisa-_** ~You know you love meee~Their bickering cut out as Haru heard Makoto walk into another room, shutting the door firmly behind him. _Anyway,_ he continued, _how is Tokyo? Is it just as amazing as your mum was telling us your dad used to think? And how’s your school? Unless you’re not there yet, in which case you must call as soon as you are, or a text even, you’ll probably be really busy settling in. I hope they have mackerel in Tokyo, you’ll be a bit stuck if they do- END OF MESSAGE. PRESS 1 TO DELETE._

Haru’s grin widened. _Idiots,_ he thought fondly and stared as the blinking message icon on his phone disappeared, before tucking it away safely. He’d reply later, once he’d settled down and found some food, maybe taken a walk around the university and –

“Your nose is looking a little better.” An all-too familiar voice wormed its way into Haru’s train of thought. The black jacket and wild shock of red hair were enough to make his nose twitch and his wrist throb angrily. Leant against the empty seat beside Haru and wearing a grin to match a jackal was the very man who’d very nearly stranded Haru in Tokyo with no clue where he was, no train to catch and injuries to boot.

The light mood that had accompanied the sound of Makoto’s chattering dissipated, replaced with a sour taste in the back of his throat and a stupid, uncalled for _nervousness_ that Haruka really wished would piss off.

“What do _you_ want?” He asked bluntly, doing nothing to disguise the annoyance in his tone. The guy’s eyes widened in mock offense, and he clutched a hand to his chest dramatically.

“Your tone wounds me!” he replied, shaking out his tangled hair and throwing himself into the seat directly opposite a now-glowering Haruka. His hair clashed dreadfully with the bright orange fabric behind him. The man smiled again, all teeth and dimples and – Haru coughed lightly, feeling heat rise in his chest – _flirtation?!_ “I spotted you over here and thought I’d come by to apologise for earlier. And to check on how you were doing, you sort of ran off before I could say anything.”

 _You’d already done enough,_ thought Haru but the only answer he gave was a slow blink. The man swallowed. “I’m Matsuoka Rin,” he continued, breaking the silence that stretched like fine silk between them. A large hand breached the no-man’s land separating them, forcing its way into Haru’s space like it had every right to be there – which it certainly did not. Haru stared at the slim fingers, scattered with small scars, before neutralising his expression and staring resolutely out of the window. Tokyo city centre was long gone, the skyscrapers being swapped for smaller and infinitely less attractive factories and grimy attempts at ‘natural’ space. After a moment Haru felt the hand retreat back to its own half and he relaxed minutely.

“Are you ignoring me now?”

_Do you warrant my attention, then?_

“I only came to say sorry.”

_Which you have…_

“I was in a rush; I didn’t even notice that you’d stopped.”

_His confidence is gone. Interesting._

“…”

 “I thought it would be cool if we both knew someone before we got to campus,” He continued, shifting awkwardly in his seat. Rin’s voice had lost its flirtatious edge and was now bordering on nervous, which really didn’t suit him. Beating down the fait traces of disappointment that lingered from Rin’s change of tone, Haru gave his brain a mental shove. “At least then we wouldn’t have to be completely alone, you know?” Definitely nervous - and also embarrassed. His gaze slid back to Rin’s and his head tilted questioningly. _How did you know?_ Haru mused, and his question was quickly answered. Rin’s cheeks now matched his hair, and the boy laughed awkwardly.

“This line is pretty much only used by students coming from Tokyo. It’s the nearest station to the campus.” Rin explained, his cheeks glowing under Haru’s intense gaze. His eyes locked with Haru’s, deep red reflecting the artificial lights and pulsing with thought. Swallowing hard, Haru watched the tips of Rin’s ears turn a muted rose colour, then dragged his gaze away and returned to messing with his bottle. His hands shook lightly and he willed them to still under Rin’s knowing glance. Both boys were quiet, the silence heavy and lingering. Thankfully, Haru didn’t have to be the one to sever the tension.

“I lied earlier, by the way,” the jackal grin was back, and this time accompanied by a slightly unwelcome lurch somewhere in Haru’s abdomen, “your nose looks like shit.”

~

The rest of the journey passed by in a blur for Haru – most of it consisted of Rin talking _at_ him and Haru trying in vain to block out his voice, which was loud and soft and _stupid_. Many other passengers (all Haru’s age, he noticed, now that Rin had mentioned it) glanced their way curiously when Rin laughed too loudly at his own joke, or snorted derisively at one of Haru’s stony glares.

“Are you always this cold?”

“Most of the time,” Haru replied, attention caught in spinning the lid of his water bottle between two fingers. His eyes skirted over Rin’s face, who was eyeing him like a shark.

“With everyone you know?”

“Most people.”

He had teeth to match.

“Not with the girl you were on the phone with – I think I actually saw you _smile_ then.” I _t wasn’t a girl_. Haru sent daggers across at Rin, scowling and brushing his fringe out of his eyes. _Stop,_ he commanded his cheeks as he felt heat seep into them.

“It was a voicemail.”He supplied in way of explanation but Rin nodded anyway. Haru detected a hint of smugness glinting in his sharp eyes.

“What?” he demanded and Rin’s smile widened mischievously.

“If you like her, tell her.” Rin raised his eyebrows and Haru stared at him in disgust. Shaking his head in disbelief, he choked out a sharp “It’s not like that” and screwed the lid of his bottle on tighter than perhaps necessary. Rin held both hands up in front of him, ducking his head.

“Okay, okay, I get it!” he laughed, “No prying into your business.” Haru just looked at him.

“You’re still here.” He said - a statement not a question. Rin looked at him, puzzled.

“Yes, I am still here.”

“I wonder why.” Rin balked at Haru’s icy tone and opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by the buzzing announcement playing overhead.

_\- Next stop: Marunouchi Station-_

Haru leapt out of his seat, grabbing for his bags and stalking into the aisle before Rin had time to even react.

“Hey, where are you-“ Without so much as a backward glance, Haru retreated towards the opposite end of the carriage, aqua eyes flashing Rin a final parting glare. “–going?! You forgot your water!” Rin watched him leave, a small frown worrying at the smooth skin of his brow. His magenta hair flopped forward into his eyes and he blew it away with an irritated huff.

“Goodbye to you too, Mr Uptight Bastard.” He muttered, slouching back into the chair and folding his arms tightly over his chest. Closing his eyes, he took 2 long breaths in through his nose. On the dark expanse of his eyelids, curious blue stared back at him – it chilled Rin to the bone. He felt his stomach flutter and his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. _Fuck._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if either of the guys are a bit ooc, I prefer fluffy, awkward Haru to slim and silent Haru :3 Thanks for the great response so far, it seriously made my week!

The water clawed at him, raking against his skin as the usual caresses turned to violent lashes that emptied his lungs of air in sharp huffs and made his vision blur with panic. The water was rejecting him. No – _he_ was rejecting the water. Haru gasped, gulping large mouthfuls of chlorine flavoured liquid that coursed down his throat and made his chest burn like a wildfire. All adrenaline he had felt coursing through him whilst standing on the starting block was being sapped out of his limbs, leaving them feeling heavy and achy, dragging him down with each stroke he tried to take. Fighting to remain calm, Haru clutched at the water with desperate fingers, feet kicking wildly to find traction and just _swim._

Dark tendrils of inky water curled and swiped at his feet, tangling with his legs and snaking up around his hips in a deadly embrace. His lungs shrieked in protest and (echoing through the water) he heard the deafening crack of bone as his chest was flooded, his throat closing up as his body tried desperately to expel the foreign liquid, which felt too hot and too think to be water. Haruka’s eyes burned and his skin prickled as pressure clamped down on him, darkness clouding his vision as he sank lower and lower. His raven hair haloed out around his face, floating gently as a heady tiredness seeped into his veins, the pounding of his heart in his ears dulling to a slow throbbing as he felt the fight slowly leave him. Body suspended in the pitch, Haru forced himself to look upwards. Small rays of light pierced the surface, barely filtering down to reach him, but the water around him had morphed into thick, dark treacle and any attempt to move towards the surface was impossible.

Panic rendered Haruka immobile – his eyes drifted shut in submission, the tips of his fingers loosing feeling and his whole world shifting as the deep crimson swirled and parted around him. Haru felt lighter than ever, his whole body floating helplessly upwards, arms and neck hanging back like a ragdoll. He felt a slight tug in his stomach, like a fish on a hook, barbed metal buried deep in his abdomen as he was slowly reeled in towards the surface. Light flickered across his closed eyelids, bright white and piercing. With a final tug of the hook, Haru was breaking free of the water and feeling it drip hot and sticky over his skin. With a thud he collided with the floor, tiles cold and damp beneath his body. His blue lips parted slightly, a rush of cold air filling his lungs. He felt a brush of something soft against his cheeks and with a small sigh of relief, he cracked his eyes open – to find himself staring into equally ruby irises.

_Do I warrant your attention?_

Haru’s cry cleared his lungs. He opened his eyes to darkness, the panting of his breath loud in his ears.

~

Sweat soaked the sheets. Rin slowly peeled himself from the pillow, wincing at the sharp breeze that ghosted across his damp skin and the heady smell of rain that flooded the room. He’d left the window open again. Supressing a shiver as his bare feet made contact with the hard, wooden floor he staggered over to it, leaning his forearms on the rapidly wetting sill. His head drooped forward and he ignored the steady drops of water that peppered his hair, which was rapidly falling from its make-do ponytail.

“Another nightmare, Matsuoka?” he muttered to himself, squeezing his eyes shut. “What are you, 5 years old?” a short, harsh bark of a laugh ripped from his throat, followed quickly by a muffled sob. He drew in a raking breath, grateful for the harsh cold of the brief storm. His flat was too hot, the air practically boiling, but thankfully the rain offered some release. After staring out at the town for another moment, watching as the lights danced with the water falling in his eyes, he moved away from the window and shut it firmly behind himself. With a sigh, he looked around. His bed was a mess – sheets were tangled and thrown half off the mattress, his pillow was shoved up against the headboard and Rin could see bunched up fabric from where his nails had dug into it. Rubbing at his nails absently, he moved towards his small kitchen which was separated from his bedroom by a thin curtain.

The room smelled faintly of noodles, which he’d cooked in haste after unpacking his belongings – which were very sparse. The only things that gave away the occupants existence was the few photos lined up on a shelf, a small trophy coated in travelling-dust and a small, china figurine of a shark. By the small television there was a stack of about 4 or 5 DVDs, and 3 paperback books were piled precariously next to them. A blanket was draped on the small sofa and pair of red and black leg skins was hung on a makeshift washing line that stretched the length of the kitchen-slash-living area. Rin eyed them in contemplation, before reaching out to feel them. Still mildly damp, but good enough for him. After gulping down a glass of tepid water, Rin pulled off his boxers and slid the leg skins on, giving them a tug to pull them tight over his thighs. Humming faintly to himself, memory of his nightmare supressed by the thought of a good swim, he dug around in the small washing basket by the sink and pulled out a pair of dark, tinted goggles. Looping them over his arm, he grabbed a towel from the side and shoved his feet into some flip flops lying not too far away. With a final glance at the apartment, Rin grabbed his keys (which were resting next to a small leaflet advertising the communal facilities available to tenants) and slipped silently out of the door, shutting it with a small click behind him. _Damn it, Rin_ , he thought to himself, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the corridor outside that was lit by only 3 dim lamps as he hurried through it, _it’s your first night here and you’re already breaking the rules._ _Don’t. Screw. Up._

~

His shoes slapped loudly against the concrete as he ran. The night air was dense and humid around him, the rain having done nothing to break Japan’s fever. The moon cast long, arching beams of light between the trees and Rin flinched as the shadows to his left shifted. His breath froze in his throat. _Only a cat,_ he said to himself as the creature darted out of the darkness without a second glance at him, but still his heart beat pounded in his ears. Up ahead, Rin could faintly make out the sign pointing him to the entrance of the pool and he gripped his towel tighter as he slowed to a walk. Willing his breathing to slow, Rin glanced behind him cautiously before approaching the entrance gate and placing a hand on top of it as he threw his towel over ahead of him. Bending his knees in preparation, Rin vaulted over the gate in one, smooth movement and landed with a huff on the other side. His triumphant grin was cut short as a small yelp reverberated through the air. Crouching low on instinct, Rin muttered a hesitant “shit!” and grabbed his towel. Was someone _here_? The commotion had come from beside the swim centre, but there were no lights on inside. Rin peered into the darkness, searching for any tell-tale signs that he wasn’t alone. When none came, he took a deep breath and shook himself. His knees cracked as he stood, and he eyed the shadows wearily. _It’s 1am for fucks sake,_ he thought as he began moving slowly in the direction of the pool, _who in their right mind would be here at 1am…_

~

Haruka Nanase couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, piercing magenta stared back at him. With a growl he dragged himself from his futon, swinging his legs off the side. His head dropped into his hands, elbows resting on his knees as he groaned. His clock flashed mockingly at him, shoving the fact it was 12:30am and he still wasn’t asleep right in his face. In truth, he was exhausted. His day had been long, excruciatingly so, and all the travelling and walking and – Haru balked – _socialising_ had taken its toll. Heaving his heavy limbs to his feet, he padded quietly to the bathroom which lay just off his living room and flicked on the light. He blinked blearily into the grimy mirror – his jet black hair stood on end, mussed and messy and making his skin look paper white in contrast. Dark bags hung under his eyes, which were electric and hazy in the dim light. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging through the tangled strands. He turned on the cold tap, cupping his hands and filling them to the brim. His mind flinched as he watched the liquid filling his palms, dragging up the dregs of his nightmare.

They weren’t uncommon with Haruka – sleep had never come easily to him, and his new location was doing nothing to aid that. A small sigh of pleasure escaped him as he rubbed the water over his sleep crusted face, revelling in the cool freshness that spread through him. Licking his lips of the last of the moisture, Haru headed back out into the living area, one thing on his mind. Whenever he had nightmares back in Iwatobi, his bath had never been more than a meter or so away. Here, though, his flat had no such luxuries. He did know of one place though, which _would_ provide him with the escape and relaxation he needed – the flyer had been shoved under his door that very night. Tugging on his jacket, which had lain strewn across the floor next to an abandoned cardboard box, Haru checked in its pocket for his swim cap and goggles before pulling his jammers out from a drawer and shoving his trainers on. Slamming out of the front door, there was no hesitation in Haru’s steps as he jogged along the pavement, shadow stretching out behind him as he quickened his pace.

~

A quick vault over the gate followed by an easy manoeuvre around the fencing and the smell of chlorine was strong in Haru’s nose, filling his head with the smell of home as a familiar coolness enveloped him in a near-silent dive. _Rei would’ve called it beautiful,_ Haru mused as he extended his arms in long, sweeping stokes, feeling his muscles pull wonderfully, _Nagisa would have grinned like an idiot (at Rei, not the dive) and Makoto would have smiled like a proud mother. Gou would probably have been too busy staring at my muscles to appreciate the kick off..._ Serene silence surrounded Haru, the occasional splash from his stroke or the gasp of a breath as he came up for air the only thing cutting through it. All anxiety, any fear or worries left tainting his thoughts from his night’s ‘sleep’ were quickly forgotten as the water took over, capturing Haru’s undivided attention; that is, until someone decided to interrupt him.

Haru heard the clang of the gate, drawing him sharply from his train of thought (which was widely centring on the availability of mackerel in the area.) He pulled himself out of the starfish float he had adopted, dipping his face into the water so only his eyes were visible and appraising. His heart thumped loudly in his chest. He scanned the area around the pool, search illuminated only by the moonlight and the single street lamp by the main building. Haruka stared into the darkness – he saw nothing. _Yet._ He couldn’t be caught here – he’d been in the town for one _day_ and already he was trespassing. _Technically, it_ is _a public pool…_ he thought, weighing up his options. _Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s_ not _open this late... Makoto would be proud._ With 4 sharp strokes and an even sharper sigh, he dragged himself to the edge and hoisted himself up and out of the water in one fluid motion.

A small splash accompanied his departure, along with the gentle pad of wet feet as Haru hurried away from the pool and back towards the entrance. His teeth chattered lightly against each other and goose bumps sprang up on his bare skin; although the air was humid and it was ridiculously hot for the middle of the night, Haru still felt a chilly absence now that he was away from the water. He paused in the shadow of the main building, creeping around the side so that he was directly facing the entrance gate. He let out a slow breath, watching as a shadow slunk into view. A small puddle of water was pooling at his feet and droplets ran in rivulets down his back and neck. The figure was approaching now, slow and cautious, but its face was still obscured by the lack of light around them. Narrowing his eyes in frustration, Haru took a small step backwards – and let out a yelp of pain. His heel collided with a sharp stone which was concealed under some rather perfectly placed leaves and Haru felt the skin slice open in a hot stab of pain. Grabbing his bottom lip between his teeth, Haru bit down hard to muffle his groan.

“Shit!” he heard, a quiet whisper echoing through the night. _Clearly a man, then,_ thought Haru as he fought to keep his breathing under control, _the manager? The swim coach? The police?_ Haru gingerly placed his foot back on the ground, pain jolting through his foot as the damaged skin came into contact with the floor. Licking his lips, Haru saw the man rise from his crouch and rub at the back of his neck nervously. After a moment of silent contemplation, the man took another step forward and (growing in confidence once again) carried on his way – towards the pool. Haru let out a groan of frustration, remembering his discarded shoes and clothes that lay in a heap by the starting blocks. Keeping his eyes trained on the stranger, an even louder groan escaped him – the moonlight had been kind enough to reveal a flash of the man’s appearance. There was no way in _hell_ Haruka couldn’t identify that hair.

~

All Rin’s plans for a quiet evening letting off steam went out the window as soon as he laid eyes upon the crumpled jacket.

“What the fuck.” He approached the clothes like a cat stalks its prey, dipping his head low and keeping his eyes trained on them. They narrowed in disbelief, magenta pupils flashing with defiance. He bent closer and pulled at the collar, picking it up gingerly between two fingers. “I recognise this jacket! That stupid son of a-,”

“And I recognise that hair.” Haru’s voice cut coldly across the pool as he emerged from the shadows, dark hair cast across his eyes and still dripping down his chin. Rin’s body jerked, as if an electric current had just passed through it. He dropped the jacket as if it burned, hand immediately going to rake through his hair, which was slipping loose of its stupid little ponytail and hanging down into his wide eyes. Haru glanced at his legs, seeing them clad in tight, firm leg skins that really left nothing to the imagin- he swallowed. _Hard. !stopstopstopstopstop!_ Haru felt heat rise in his cheeks and he was glad that the darkness was doing him some favours. Rin was gaping at him like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing in shock. His eyebrows disappeared under his fringe and the corners of his mouth turned down in a pout that made Haru want to punch him.

“Y-you-“ Rin began, bobbing from one foot to the other as he stared at Haru. “What the f- What are _you_ doing here?!”

“I could ask you the same.” Rin fumbled with his goggles, twisting them around his fingers.

“I came to swim,” he replied curtly, shock replaced with hostility in an instant. Haru watched the way Rin’s barriers went up, the soft look of vulnerability vanishing from his features. His lips were set in a hard line and his brow was creased with annoyance. It made him look older, Haru realised.

“I came to swim too.” Haru countered, walking calmly over to his clothes and gathering them into more of an acceptable pile. Rin folded his arms tightly across his chest and Haru swallowed again, watching the way his muscles bunched at the shoulders and the way his head tilted slightly to the right as he considered the other boy; the way his hair shifted with every move, fluid and rich in both colour and texture, he was sure-

“What the fuck are you staring at?” It was Haru’s turn to be electrocuted. His eyes widened a fraction before shutting down, his face wiped blank and expressionless. Embarrassment still rolled in his stomach – but Rin didn’t need to know that. He didn’t grace him with an answer, only raised his eyebrows minutely in a way he knew _everyone_ found judging.

“We can’t both swim here,” Haru continued, shifting his weight off his bad foot. He thought the bleeding had stopped, what little there had been. It only throbbed now, a welcome distraction from the massive problem in front of him.

“You’ve clearly swum already – get out of here so I can have a turn.” Haru grit his teeth.

“I was here first.”

“So you had first swim. Scram.”

“What if I want to swim more?”

“Tough luck. Unless you want to share the pool – and I’m pretty sure you don’t know how to share nicely.” Rin grinned, sharp teeth glinting menacingly in the moonlight as he cocked his head at Haru, who glared at the shark boy steadily.

“You’re acting like a child,” Haru spat back, the venom in his words doing nothing to Rin apart from widening his grin and adding a hint of mischief to his gaze. Haruka practically oozed contempt.

“Don’t get tetchy, Stranger – what if I asked nicely?” Rin leered at Haru, who took a deep breath in through his nose and exhaled sharply, trying to ignore the _fluttery shit_ going on in his stomach. _Time to go._ He grabbed his clothes together in a hurried bundle, barely pausing to completely put on his trainers as he fumbled to just _get away._ In his haste to evacuate the area, he forgot all about his injured heel, which took the moment as a prime opportunity to spasm in pain, causing Haru to stumble and very nearly slip on the wet floor. He heard Rin snigger, a small chuckle and a teasing “Steady, stranger,” and he ground his teeth together before marching away.

“Aw, you’re always the one to leave, stranger!” Rin called after him, and with a sneaky glance back Haru’s eyes went immediately to the pout. _Goddamn._

“Don’t call me stranger.” He bit out, but Rin’s grin only widened which sent another rumble of warmth through Haru’s chest that he really _did_ _not_ _like one bit._

“What should I call you then?” Haru’s throat was hot with anger and embarrassment – not a winning combination when one wants to appear indifferent.

“D-don’t call me,” he stammered, cheeks flushing a similar colour to Rin’s hair, “Just, don’t call me anything, don’t ever call me. No calling.” He whirled away from the smirking redhead, clenching his eyes shut in frustration as he stormed away. Heat clawed at the back of his throat and eyes. _Get it together, Nanasa. He’s just a jerk._ His stomach told him otherwise and his heel throbbed with every step.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so Haru is definitely ooc, embrace it this chapter is cute and pretty fluffy (  
> p.s updates are sort of ending up anywhere from a Monday to a Wednesday, beginning of the week for anyone interested)

“Welcome to the university! I’m Miho-sensei, and I’ll be taking you through your discovery of the English language with us here! The journey will be long and arduous, but I have faith that all of you will succeed!” Short, dark hair framed a round, shining face as the teacher smiled widely at the class before her. Her eyes were wide and shining – the complete opposite of the students in front of her, who’s faces were still clouded with sleep. “There is a saying that goes ‘Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.’ May this be a wonderful year in which you learn the beauty of language and the doors it can open for you!” Rin snorted quietly to himself, nose hidden behind the textbook propped open tent-like on his desk.

 _Blood of the soul,_ he thought bitterly. This year was going to suck – English was his last ditch attempt to actually get somewhere in life. The other subjects he’s taken were mainly for entertainment, but learning English was his mother’s request and so far, he wasn’t looking forward to it. The sensei seemed nice enough, if a little enthusiastic, but the class around him was smaller than he would have liked (less people to hide behind when he wanted a nap) and full of the usual brainboxes.

With a sigh, Rin idly flicked through his text book at Miho-sensei’s instruction, eyes glossing over the babble of characters strewn across the page. He only recognised a few words – pizza, dog and hello – and immediately he felt his brain switching off from his lack of understanding. Slouching further into his seat, Rin tugged at his hair impatiently, eyes drifting to the ceiling as one of the girls in his class began reading aloud in a timid, squeaky voice.Rin blocked her out, favouring watching the second hand on the wall clock slide slowly past the hour on loop than listen to her trip over vowel combinations and sentence structure.

It was his first full day of classes – after a week of tours and introductory lectures, getting to know the town and endless meetings with subject leaders and advisors, he’d been thrust unceremoniously into life as a student, waking up blearily to realise he’d slept through both his alarms and was in grave danger of being last for first period. Luckily, sprinting was one thing he excelled at, and he’d made it on time. The rather interesting train ride seemed like only yesterday. Rin grinned at the memory, still fresh in his mind, remembering clearly the hostile flashes of azure that were thrown his way and the coal black hair tossed moodily with every glance.

That had been 7 days ago, though, and Rin was still hung up on it: watching the mystery boy lock down his features, an almost-blank canvas – Rin had seen the splashes of emotion painted there when the boy’s guard was down. He’d loved teasing him: the way his eyes narrowed dangerously at Rin’s every word, something catlike about the way he simultaneously raised his eyebrows and frowned at the same time, the way a small blush always crept up his throat when he was embarrassed or angry or flushed from a night of hard swimming (the redhead was still thanking God for his timing on that one) daring Rin to continue the conversation just a little bit longer, to see where it would land him, what the boy’s response would be. _You’ll probably never see him again, idiot. This university is massive and the guy was clearly indifferent towards you, don’t get invested in memories. But those eyes…_

A woman cleared her throat loudly, directly behind him. Rin glanced up in alarm, eyes widening as they met Miho-sensei’s steely gaze.

“Would you like to continue the text…?” she raised her eyebrows threateningly. Rin coughed slightly, feeling heat rise into his cheeks.

“Matsuoka Rin,” he answered, voice too loud in the silent classroom, and was rewarded with a sweet smile.

“Matsuoka-kun. Please continue the text to the best of your abilities.” It was a demand, not a request. Rin shifted nervously in his seat as all eyes came to rest on him. Tugging again on the hair falling from behind his ears, he cast his gaze to the textbook. The jumble of letters swirled messily on the page. He twisted his lips and glanced back at the teacher.

“Sorry, but I don’t-“ The classroom door swung open with a clatter, making everyone jump a mile in their seats. Rin slammed a fist into the desk as he turned sharply to face the door. His eyes widened in shock as his brain registered the intruder.

~

Haru stared blankly at the sea of faces staring at him. The oldest woman in the room, obviously the teacher from her dress sense, straightened quickly and frowned at him warningly.

“You’re extremely late, dear, class stared 25 minutes ago.” Haru supressed an eye roll and instead flicked his damp fringe, still slightly wet from his morning swim, further across his face.

“I was swimming.” He muttered quietly. He could feel the eyes of every student in the room drilling into him and he clutched the strap of his shoulder bag slightly tighter. He refused to look at them, and maintained a steady gaze out of the window directly opposite him. The sky was clear and blue, the smattering of clouds hanging against the backdrop in sharp relief as a bird wheeled around them. He dragged his gaze back to the teacher when she asked him his name, over a trickle of laughter that rippled through the students.

“Nanase.” He replied shortly. “Nanase Haruka.” He heard a quiet gasp from somewhere near the back of the class and his eyes darted curiously to the emitter – blue eyes met red for the 3rd time in as many days. Haru’s heart lurched in his chest as his eyes widened in surprise. Matsouka Rin stared back at him – a grin tugged at the edge of his lips layer with a hint of a smirk and more familiarity than Haru was comfortable with, making him bite down on his tongue as he slowly broke away from Rin’s blazing gaze. The teacher looked at him appraisingly, eyes darting between him and Rin in a calculating manner. Haru shifted awkwardly.

“I see you and Matsuoka are acquainted already?” she enquired lightly, accompanied by a flutter of snickers from the class who had all witnessed the heated exchange. Haru nodded stiffly. He felt the tips of his ears ignite. “Wonderful! You can take the desk next to him.” Haruka stepped jerkily into the classroom as he trudged to the back, avoiding the curious glances being shot his way and the heavy silence that had descended after his arrival. He purposely avoided meeting Rin’s eye – he didn’t need to look to see the glowing gaze trained on his face as he yanked his books from his bag with an irritated sigh. _40 minutes left…_

~

 _20 minutes left,_ Rin told himself, pen tapping insistently on the wooden top to his desk in time with the achingly slow movement of the clock’s second hand.  He sighed deeply (for what must have been the 10 th time in the past minute) and risked a quick glance to his left. Nanase Haruka sat with his eyes trained on the window beside him, eyes staring unseeingly into the distance as the drone of the classroom faded beneath his thoughts. Dark hair brushed just below his ear and his eyes were glazed and unfocussed. Rin gazed at him for another moment, watching the slow and nearly imperceptible rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed and the occasional bob of his Adam’s apple in his slender throat. _Beautiful,_ he thought, _not pretty or handsome, this kid is beautiful. If water could take human form, this would be it…_ Lost in the boy beside him, Rin failed to react when the same sharp gaze locked with his. Swiftly, Rin turned away as Haru cocked his head suspiciously. The tempo of the tapping pen increased rapidly.

“Would you stop that?” Haruka whispered threateningly, “You’re distracting me.” Rin gulped.

“Distracting you?! You’re hardly even paying attention.” He fought to keep his voice level and uninterested, but the nervous quake in his fingers betrayed him. Haru eyed him curiously.

“Neither are you. You just spent the last 10 minutes staring at me.”

“S-staring at _you?_ Really?”

“…”

“I wasn’t staring at _you,_ I..”

“…”

“…was staring out of the window too.”

“…”

“I _was_.”

“Right,” Rin grunted in frustration as a small smile played at the corners of Haru’s mouth, barely enough to class as a smile but not quite his usual, neutral expression either. Now it was Rin’s turn to flush a deep red colour.

“I told you, I wasn’t staring at you!” Rin said loudly, causing students at neighbouring desks to look around at them in amusement. Rin clamped his jaw shut, fingers curling into a fist around his pen. _Damn you, Nanase,_ he thought bitterly, eyes drilling into the page in front of him. Blank spaces jumped out from the tangle of letters printed on it, ones Rin was supposed to be filling in. Out of his peripheral vision, Rin could see no such spaces on Haruka’s page, only the neat scrawl of what he hoped to God were incorrect answers.  Childish, he knew, but that’s what Nanase Haruka made him – an idiotic, frustrated 14 year old…

A 14 year old who really, _really_ needed personal space right now. Rin was overheating – his skin felt as if it was literally on fire, flames licking at his neck and cheeks as he practically glowed with red. His eyes flittered nervously from his work to the clock to the teacher to the window and back again. _3 more minutes,_ he chanted, _just 3 just 3 keep it together for fucks sake, what’s wrong with you!_ Nanase was what was wrong with him – Rin could feel the warmth of the other boy’s skin radiating across the slim gap between their desks, could smell a hint of chlorine wafting his way every time Haruka moved his head, or brushed a hand through his hair and oh God he _really_ wished Haru hadn’t noticed his state yet. Rin found himself desperately longing for the end of class, to escape the room and everyone in it. He wanted to curl up in a ball and burn the images of a blushing, flushed and dripping wet Haruka Nanase from his mind. He bit down on the inside of his cheek roughly.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your first lesson with me here today – remember your homework is to be completed by the beginning of next lesson. If anyone has any problems, or would like assistance, you know where to find me. Dismissed.” Right on cue, a shrill ringing signalled the end of first period and Rin lurched from his seat before anyone else had the chance to put down their pencils. Stuffing his books into his backpack, Rin yanked the zip shut and swung it across his back. Shoving his pen behind his ear, he extracted himself clumsily from the row of desks, managing to hit only one with his knee. With a hasty ‘thank you’ at his sensei Rin pulled open the classroom door and practically fell out into the corridor. His pulse still thumped loudly in his ears – it had been a week, and already he was _fucked_.

~

6 classes could not have passed slower for Haru, who threw himself down on his futon as soon as he walked through the door. After chucking his bag on the counter he walked straight towards it and collapsed on his back, feet dangling off the end. Throwing an arm across his eyes, he groaned as the beginnings of a headache panged threateningly in his skull. After the events in English, which were interesting to say the least, Haruka had been distracted for the rest of the day, much to his annoyance.

The first day of classes and already he was getting pulled up in Biology for spacing out and being asked with earnest if he was ‘feeling okay’ when sneaky, invasive thoughts of a particular red head made his whole face flush crimson. Rin was just so _confusing._ All the bravado and confidence had quickly turned into awkward glances and embarrassment once Haru had sat down: a deep blush had stained Rin’s cheeks and neck, fading out slightly as collarbone turned to the top of his chest, only a sliver visible where his black vest top hung a little too low and- Haru groaned, hastily shoving all thoughts aside as he felt his face heat again. This was so stupid. Rin was an idiot; a cocky, show off who revelled in the discomfort he caused other people and certainly not someone who Haru needed to be thinking about while trying to lay the foundations of his university education.

Yet there he was, worming his way into Haruka’s thoughts, the shark grin and expressive eyes rooting themselves in Haru’s conscience as he found himself analysing every curious look that had been sent his way. He needed a distraction – a distraction _from_ a distraction. After a moment of contemplation, his stomach gave him the answer in the form of a loud, meaningful rumble. With a grunt, Haruka pulled himself to his feet and walked quickly to the small refrigerator that stood next to the 2-ringed cooker in his kitchen – it was empty. Grimy shelves stared back at him as the weak light flickered dully above them.

“Wonderful,” he said mournfully, “These shops better have mackerel.”

~

Despite the small population of the town, the streets were still busy with people on the mild September evening. Streets lights cast dim, yellow bands of light across the concrete and illuminated the faces of pedestrians as they passed beneath them. The smells of venders’ goods were heavy in the air, a cluttered mix of fish, fried food and noodles. The sky was dark and clear, the inky darkness mottled with the faint bands of colour that hinted at the beginnings of light pollution in the area and the first few stars waking from slumber where pinpricks above them. The moon was full and round, obscured only by the hazy mist of humidity that clung to the atmosphere.

Haruka navigated the streets slowly, taking his time to observe the people and places around him. Children scattered through the crowds, running and screaming and clutching at ice creams in their iron grips and Haru was sharply reminded of home, back in Iwatobi: the children from the swim club, where he’d grudgingly helped out at (only after a week of Makoto begging him), Ren and Ran whose eyes lit up in excitement every time Haru made an appearance at their door, and even the way Nagisa used to run circles around a blushing Rei while laughing in a way that could only be classed as slightly manic, oblivious to the doe eyed look Rei was casting him. Longing for the small fishing village engulfed him. Life had been so simple back there, a daily routine that Haru felt he could live with forever. Deep down, he had known he would have to move away at some point – Iwatobi had no university to speak of, and Haru’s mother had been insistent on Tokyo despite his protests. But the change of lifestyle was already beginning to grate on Haru’s nerves. There was no Makoto by his side to smile reassuringly and utter pointless advice until Haru was telling him to shut up, but ultimately feeling infinitely better. There was no hand to pull him from the bath in the mornings, and the walk to university was now something he did alone, so different from the constant chatter Makoto would supply on their way to school.

Casting a last glance at the rioting children, Haru moved on down the street, heading in the direction of a buzzing neon sign that declared the local supermarket. The doors slid open to accommodate him with a hissed protest, and icy cold air ruffled his hair and slid down his back invasively as the air con hit him. Breathing a sigh of relief at the coolness of the market compared to the heavy thickness of the air outside, Haru pulled his thin blue t-shirt away from his sticky skin and grabbed a basket from their perch behind the doors. He made his way between the aisles, an almost magnetic force dragging him straight to the fish counter. A smiling attendant nodded at him as he approached, rising from his chair and spreading his hands to the display in front of him. In a cheery voice he said, “Welcome! What can I get for you this evening?” Haru smiled back tightly, eyes travelling across the wide selection of fish lying helpless on their icy bed.  In places, blood had stained the ice like wine. Haru swallowed hard.

“Just some mackerel please,” he replied, and the man smiled again and set about with completing Haru’s order. Glancing away from the fish counter, Haru watched as shop assistants flooded out of a back room, a buzzer indicating the beginning of a new shift. Each made their way to their respected areas: a young girl with dark hair and multiple piercings rushed off towards the cake counter while a tall, lanky guy stared after her for a moment before continuing on to the meat section. Fuzzy music drifted down from the ceiling, a dull pop song with scratchy vocals that made Haru wince. The fish attendant had started whistling loudly as he washed and filleted the mackerel – Haru would have told him to stop but at that moment, a few stragglers drifted from the assistant’s room. There was a short boy with dyed blue hair, a plump girl with blond ringlets bouncing around her flushed face and then, feet dragging against the linoleum floor and hands shoved in his apron pockets, was Matsuoka Rin.

His hair was pulled back in a small, tight _bun_ of all things, the stray strands clipped back with dark grips to stop them falling into his face like Haru was familiar with. His lips were set in a grim line and a frown was carved deep into his forehead. Muscular back curved into a slouch under his white shirt which was tucked haphazardly into tight, black jeans, the redhead disappeared down one of the aisles, totally unaware of Haruka’s gaze following his every move.

“Sir? Excuse me?” _Shit._ Haru’s attention snapped back to the fish man, who was frowning at him in concern, the packet of mackerel limp in his hand as his eyes flicked from Haru to where Rin had stood a minute ago and back. Haru blushed lightly, eyes hardening.

“Um, thanks,” he said briefly, and shoved the fish in his basket before walking quickly away. _This is bad,_ he thought, _people are starting to notice…_

 _…he’s even distracting me from_ mackerel _…_

~

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Rin’s eyes drooped tiredly, face slack with boredom as the shrill sound of items being scanned stabbed at his ears second after second. This was Rin’s evening now, every single day: come home from university, a quick shower and scoffed meal (if he had time) and it was straight to doing his assignments for the next day, which usually took him a good few hours. Then, at just after 6, he’d grab a pair of jeans and his uniform shirt and jog into the town, 5 minutes before his shift would start. He’d just have time to pull his hair back and change clothes before the buzzer was sounding and he was trudging through the too-brightly lit shop floor to the cramped till he manned, where he’d sit until the flow of customers slowed to a trickle and the clock was approaching 10pm. The fact was, he needed the money. If it wasn’t for the half decent pay, Rin wouldn’t be here – he’d be back at home catching up on desperately needed sleep or going out and actually _socialising_ for once, making some friends and meeting people and generally being a uni student. In reality though, he was stuck here, pushing packet after packet of instant noodles or tins of soup or bags of crisps across the checkout until his legs and back ached from sitting still for so long. With a sigh, Rin smiled weakly as the next customer came forward and started scanning the items for what felt like the millionth time that night.

_Beep._

Bag of apples.

Beef steak.

Toilet paper.

Rin tapped blearily at the screen in front of him, robotically reciting the total flashing at him and accepting the handful of coins he was given. Biting out another grin (which he was sure looked more like a grimace) he thanked the woman, who took her bag and moved away without another word. He glanced at the clock. It was just approaching quarter to seven. Rin stifled a groan and glanced to his right. No customers…yet. Taking advantage of the break, Rin stretched his arms high over his head, moaning as the muscles pulled and his joints popped. He cracked his neck and then his knuckles, before rubbing a hand across his face. His skin stank of metal, thanks to the coins. Opposite him, a girl called Maki Etsouko (as her name badge declared) shot Rin a death glare as she spied him watching her. _About as far from her name’s meaning as she could get…_ Rin mused, a small smile tugging at his mouth as he realised he was definitely not the only on here for the money. Maki didn’t return his smile – she was too busy scanning the 4 boxes of condoms that had been shoved under her nose by a grimy guy in slacks and a playboy shirt. Rin let out a burst of laughter at the look of pure disgust on Maki’s face and was greeted with another sharp glance; this time accompanied by a small eyebrow raise and a slightly less aggressive snarl that Rin liked to think was her version of a smile.

Still grinning at Maki as she waved away the sleaze with a look of pure hatred that had him scampering for the door, Rin was snapped back to work by a cutting voice that made Rin nearly fall of his stool.

“Your hair looks like shit.”

“N-Nanase?!” Rin spluttered as hard, blue eyes gazed stonily at his face.

“Are you going to do your job, or keep staring at that girl like an idiot?” Haruka asked him, hating the hint of jealousy that tainted his words, but he felt a jerk of pleasure at the look of mortification spreading across Rin’s reddening features. It was way too easy to make this guy blush and Haru found that lately he was taking every opportunity to do just that. Rin stared at him with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth. With a sharp sigh, Haru shoved his basket on to the counter, and started throwing his purchases onto the checkout. Rin’s mouth audibly snapped shut as he fumbled a packet of noodles Haru aimed at him.

“I- I wasn’t staring!” Rin countered and winced as amusement and a small smile crossed Haruka’s features.

“Where have I heard that before?” Rin didn’t reply but his lips thinned noticeably and he was slightly too forceful in the way he scanned the items. Haru glanced away, supressing another grin, a new sort of confidence washing through his body and making his head spin lightly. Rin was ridiculous – he blushed at anything, got defensive over anything and everything and to Haru, it was the most amusing thing in the world. He wore his thoughts and emotions so plainly on his face, like an open book – and the complete opposite of Haruka, which was probably why he found the redhead so interesting. A the moment, Rin was hastily scanning the products while casting nervous glances at Haru and – Haru noticed with another jolt of annoyance – the girl opposite him. Cocking his head in the way he _knew_ Rin hated, he stepped forward, blocking Rin’s view of the girl and demanding his attention. Rin jumped as the dark haired boy filled his vision.

“What?” he tried to snap, but it came out weak and wobbly. Haru had that stupid smirk/smile on his face again and Rin scowled at him as he said,

 “Just admiring your hair. You know buns are for girls, right?”

“Shut up, Nanase.” _Beep._

“And ponytails, as well.”

“Did your mum teach you how to do it?”

“Or maybe you’re just in touch with your feminine side.”

“That’ll be 500 yen please.” Rin smiled at him widely, his teeth white, abnormally sharp and glinting dangerously under the lights. Haru grinned back, revelling in the waves of annoyance rippling off the redhead. Haru handed over some money – their fingers brushed briefly sending an electric current through Haru’s arm and Rin pulled away quickly with a shocked expression on his face, the mask of tolerance shattering for a moment. Haru stared at him with interest as Rin filed away the money, his frown renewed again and mind racing as he tried in vain to calculate the due change. A small ball of warmth rested in Haru’s  chest, emanating curiosity through his body. Rin reached back over to him, handing him a smaller amount of coins, but before he could pull back, Haru had grasped his wrist in his hand tightly, pulling him forward and _almost fucking burning him._

“Swim with me.” The words blurted from Haru’s mouth loudly, and this time it was _his_ turn to blush under the other’s gaze.

“Swim with you?” Rin repeated, confused. Haru huffed irritably and quickly released Rin from his grasp, shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

“Yes, idiot, that’s what I just said.” _You don’t need to repeat it okay just decline just decline I didn’t mean it shit_

“Okay. When?” Haru supressed a groan – Rin’s eyes glinted, flames jumping in the magenta. The cocky grin Haru had become accustomed to seeing on his features was back, threatening to split his face in two. _You’ve already fucked up,_ a voice in the back of his head muttered gleefully, _You’re in too deep. You can’t make it worse – so you might as well embrace it._

“Tonight,” Rin’s eyes widened. _Was this guy for real?_

“Tonight?”

“Do you have a hearing problem or something?” Haru said scathingly, but Rin just grinned and nodded in consent, before a small frown mottled his smooth, pale skin.

“I have work.” He stated dumbly, and Haru rolled his eyes as he grabbed the packed shopping bag resting on the counter. “And no legskins.” _What an idiot,_ he thought again, and chose that moment to make his escape before he went ahead and _proposed_ or something.

“I’ll wait.” He countered shortly and whirled away from Rin, blue eyes blazing, before calling over his shoulder. “And you can borrow some of my jammers.” Rin stared after him, dumbfounded and shaking his head slightly as his lips parted in a lost farewell. After a moment of staring after the boy, Rin shook himself and turned back to his counter. Across from him, Maki was grinning slyly at Rin and, as he met her knowing gaze, she raised her eyebrows suggestively. Much to her delight, Rin’s entire face flooded with colour and he stuck her tongue out childishly at her before looking away determinedly. Shaking her head, she moved back to her next customer, but still kept an eye on the shark boy for the rest of their shift. The blush never left his cheeks, and from time to time when he thought he was unobserved, he’d smile widely and rub at his wrist where the other boy’s hand had rested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the response so far, I never imagined people would actually want to read this stupid fic <3 I hope I'm doing okay, and that you continue to stick with it ^.^ i have a feeling there's continuity type errors in this chapter, so please point them out bc i'm too lazy to check lmao


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more from our friend Maki, i just really like her tbh

Rin’s hands were sweating as he shakily removed his work shirt and yanked his red top down over his head, his mind a whirl of _oh shit_ s and _what am I doing_ s and _stupid Nanase_ s. In his haste, one of the small buttons at the collar tangled in his hair, and he hissed in pain as he tugged and pulled to free it.

With a particularly fierce wrench, he tore the button free and his scalp ached as hair was ripped from it. Muttering angrily to himself, he pulled the shirt on the rest of the way and shoved his uniform back into his backpack and slung it up onto his shoulders. Taking deep, calming breaths Rin tried to block out the tingling sensation that was rapidly spreading through his limbs like wildfire, starting at his fingertips and scattering his thoughts as it inched through his chest and clawed at his throat.

 _Cool it, Matsuoka._ He made his way out of the toilets, glancing at the single, dirty mirror hanging over the sink. His face was resembled that of a marathon runner; his cheeks bright pink and eyes shining, hair messy and untamed. Scowling at the general redness, he reached up and ripped the grips from his hair and pulled at his bun until the chaotic explosion of colour that he called hair fell free, reassuringly brushing at the nape of his neck and falling into his eyes again. Rin sighed, grateful for the slight cover to hide behind. Shaking it out and trying in vain to get it to lie flat, Rin _tsk_ ed in frustration and stormed out into the corridor, nearly ploughing into Maki as he went.

“Oof,” the breath was knocked out of her, and she glared daggers up at her assailant. Red eyes with hair to match stared down at her and she felt her frown morph into a cheeky grin.

“Weeell, if it isn’t sharkboy!” she drawled, giving him a playful punch on the arm. Rin scowled at her and pulled away, “Or should I say _lover_ boy?” Rin’s scowl deepened, heat rising up his neck in splotchy disarray.

“Piss off, Maki.” he replied, shifting awkwardly on his feet, eyes flicking to the exit a few meters ahead as he hoisted his bag higher onto his shoulders and fiddled with his hair. He wasn’t up for conversation with her right now – the knowing look still lingered in her dark eyes and the triumphant grin did nothing to soothe Rin’s already frayed nerves.

“Are you _nervous,_ Matsouka?” she teased, widening her eyes in mock surprise. Rin just glared at her, making a move to shove past her. Maki blocked his escape route, cocking her head (it was achingly similar to the way Haru did it, Rin realised) and placed both hands on her hips appraisingly. “Because there’s nothing _to_ be nervous about, idiot. He’s just a guy.”

Rin stared at her. “I _know_ he’s just a guy. I’m not nervous.” Maki stared back, lip ring glinting. “I’m not nervous. Now piss off.” Rin shouldered past her, ignoring the grunt of laughter that followed him. Making a beeline for the exit, he pulled on the handle and walked out into the cool night. The fresh air caressed his skin like silk, the bustle and heat of the evening finally cooling to dim warmth that still rested fresh in his cheeks.

He gulped large breaths of the night air, head raised to the sky and eyes squeezed shut as he willed his breathing to slow. It was just after 10 – Rin had changed as quickly as he could, almost sprinting from his till when the buzzer sounded, barely registering the annoyed shout of the manager that followed him  – and he’d made it out into the back car park before any of the other assistants. Opening his eyes and glancing around, questions looped through his head at the silence of the lot.

_Where the hell was Nanase?_

_Was he actually coming?_

_Did Rin have to go find him?_

_No, he’d said he would wait for him…_

_Was this a_ setup _?!_

“You took it out.” Like a cat having its tail stamped on, Rin jumped a mile as that stupid, soft voice that had been tormenting Rin all bloody week drifted from the shadows. Turning abruptly, he spotted Haruka perched delicately on the back of a bench which was shrouded by the shadow the building cast upon it, dark hair blending with the darkness flawlessly and blue eyes vivid and stark against the black backdrop. His feet rested where he should have sat, clad in dark blue Converse, elbows perched on his knees and head cradled in his hands. A shoulder bag lay on its side underneath him.

“Jesus!” Rin exclaimed. “You need to stop doing that.” He turned away, forcing the blush from his cheeks as he heard Haru hop down from his seat, the faint rumble of traffic on the street nearby ghosting through the air.

“Doing what?” Haru asked, coming to stand in front of Rin, eyes curious and hands shoved in his pockets. He watched the redhead carefully – the ever-present blush that mottled his tan skin hardened as Rin replied.

“You know what I mean, surprising me…just randomly turning up places.” He waved a hand back towards the supermarket before scratching at his ear and looking at Haru wearily. “And what do you mean, I took it out?”

“Your hair - you took it out of the bun.” Rin brushed at the strands absentmindedly.

“Yeah, I did,” He said, a hint of guilty admittance in his words. “You said it was girly.”

Haru looked at him in surprise – again, he felt the warmth in his chest and the heady feeling of being able to do anything threatened to topple him. It was true, the hairstyle would’ve looked girly and ridiculous; on Rin, though, it had been…nice. Cute, even, Haru mused.

“I didn’t say take it out, though.” He was pretty sure nothing could look girly on Rin, and when Rin glanced at him in astonishment (ready to switch to a glare at any hint of Haru making fun of him) the dark haired boy just smiled genuinely and raised his eyebrows. “Are you just going to stand there, or are we going to swim?” After another moment of silence Rin nodded vigorously, ruby cheeks on fire. They walked side by side towards the street, and from inside the building Maki watched them go with a warm smile.

~

“So, you waited for 3 hours?”

“Yes.”

“You just sat on that bench?”

“Yes.”

“For 3 hours?”

“Yes.”

“Right.”

“…”

“You didn’t go home or anything?”

“No.”

“What about the fish though? That should really be put in the fridge or something, it’s gonna stink like a bitch, and-“

“Matsuoka.”

“…W-what?”

“Shut up.”

~

When they reached the pool, Rin was a wreck. His hands restlessly carded through his hair as Haru nimbly launched over the gate and (without waiting for Rin) picked up his own bag and continued on. He heard Rin exhale shakily and mutter a quite huff as he landed, then quicken his steps to catch up with Haru. After Haru’s demand that Rin be quiet, they had walked in silence, Rin slightly behind Haru and practically radiating nervousness.

They rounded the corner and came into view of the pool which shimmered invitingly in the moonlight. Haru’s fingertips twitched and it was all he could do not to take a running leap right then and there. Instead, he walked to the edge, ditching his bag to the side as his toes brushed the cool surface. Rin made a noise behind him as he went to pull his shirt up over his head, exposing his lean back and muscles arms. He turned slightly, t shirt bunched at his neck and body practically _begging_ to feel the water.

“Problem?” he asked, watching as Rin flushed crimson, shaking his head and fiddling with the hem of his own shirt. Haru rolled his eyes again, choosing to ignore his company and discard his shirt to the side. His fingers moved to deftly undo the button on his shorts and he yanked them down in one swift motion. Rin squeaked behind him, followed by a sharp breath of relief as Haru revealed the dark jammers he wore underneath. Pulling off his shoes and socks, he tossed everything to the side and delved into his bag once again to tug out a pair of goggles. Haru ignored the swim cap that still rested inside and stretched them over his head. Pulling them down over his eyes, his whole world dimmed and he turned to find Rin still standing awkwardly behind him, arms folded tightly across his chest as he stared resolutely out over the pool. With a twitch of muscles that could have been a smile or a snarl of impatience, Haru retrieved a second pair of jammers from his bag and threw them at Rin.

“Oi,” he called. Rin jumped and just about managed to snatch the swim shorts out of the air before they hit the ground, “Are you just going to stand there? Get changed all ready.” He couldn’t wait any longer. With 3 long strides, Haru closed the distance between him and the body of clear, pure water, bending his knees just as he reached the edge. His muscles coiled and propelled him off the edge, his body cutting through the air in a beautiful arch as he executed the dive into the water. His fingertips breached the surface first, followed by the rest of his arms and his head and torso. His hair fanned out around him, bubbles brushing past his skin teasingly as his whole body became submerged.

From the surface, Rin watched as Haru’s toes disappeared beneath the surface before letting out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. His pulse thumped in his ears and his whole face was on fire, eyes darting to the pale body rippling beneath the surface. _This is stupid,_ he thought to himself, throat dry as he watched Haru take stroke after stroke, covering the length of the pool in seconds and not even coming up for air. _He’s just a guy…_ He swallowed hard, hands bunching in the fabric of the foreign swim suit in his hands. _Stop being a baby,_ he said to himself as he gathered his confidence and tugged his own shirt over his head.

~

Resting at the opposite end of the pool, Haru could watch Rin freely - as he hesitated by the edge of the pool, hands tight on the material in his hands – from the safety of the deep water. His legs kicked lazily beneath him, doing just enough to keep him afloat and only his eyes and the top of his head were visible above the surface. A mild but more than welcome burn scratched at his muscles and, as he watched Rin’s shaking fingers grasps the hem of his shirt, the burn spread to his chest and abdomen, blazing a slow trail through his body; this new feeling had nothing to do with the effects of exercise.

Rin’s dark shirt was quickly disposed of, exposing pale, unblemished skin to the moonlight, followed by his tight jeans that Haru was sure were about 4 sizes too small. Much to his amusement, Rin stumbled as he tried to pull the obscenely tight fabric off his feet, where they tangled and pulled, nearly toppling the tall boy. A ripple of bubbles emanated from Haru’s submerged mouth as he tried to stifle a laugh and Rin looked over angrily at the sound. Haru just grinned under water, eyes sparkling as Rin righted himself and chucked the jeans to the side with an angry huff. Standing just in his boxers, Rin shot daggers at Haru who rolled his eyes and sank beneath the water once again. With a grunt of annoyance, Rin turned his back on the boy and (trying not to think about how exposed he was, how Haru could probably see his every move, how he really wanted to run, but then he also wanted to step closer) tugged down the light fabric.

With fumbling hands, Rin tugged on the jammers but had to pull on them hard when they got caught in the muscle of his upper thighs. With a grunt, Rin forced them on. They were tight, yeah, but not too uncomfortable. Haru was still submerged, much to Rin’s relief, and he took the opportunity to pull his hair back into another bun. To be honest, he liked the style – and he had a sneaking suspicion Haru did too, if his earlier comment was anything to go by. With a final glance at his and Haru’s abandoned clothes, Rin stepped to the edge of the pool and dived.

Though not as lithe as Haru, Rin’s dive was still incredible to behold and Haru marvelled at his entry. His body was a power house, all muscles and curves, tensing and relaxing as he cut through the water. With a sharp snap of his legs, Rin butterfly kicked up to the surface. His red hair dripped into eyes, plastered to his cheeks where it strayed from the hairband that kept the majority back. Impatiently, he swiped it away and his gazed travelled wearily to Haru. The slap of water on tiles echoed through the pool and somewhere in the distance an owl hooted in protest at the flurry of noise their swimming had caused. Confidence was slowly leaking back into Rin’s system – he suddenly felt as if he and Haruka were equals, together in their element where neither one had been proved to be stronger – yet.

“I want a race.” Rin fired towards the raven haired boy, who only raised his eyebrows with a smirk and floated lazily onto his back, arms and legs spread wide as his eyes drifted shut serenely. Rin wanted to see what Haru was made of – despite his laidback, stoic attitude towards life he _knew_ there was more to the git. More than just barely-there smiles, deep blue eyes that seemed to eat away at you, taking away piece by piece of any walls you’d ever carefully built up around yourself and leaving you alone in the rubble to rebuild them.

There was something that drove Nanase Haruka, and Rin felt like this was the way to find out. On instinct, he flicked a handful of water in the other boy’s direction, grinning as it splashed on Haru’s face, making him wince in surprise. “Not scared, Nanase?” he teased, all traces of nervous energy dispelled by the smoothness of water on his skin. His calves, which never usually felt the water when he wore his beloved leg skins, took little strain as he kicked himself closer to Haruka, who was frowning at Rin with distaste.

“You think you can beat me?” he replied instead, ignoring the triumphant grin now spreading across Rin’s features – his own smile bubbled beneath the surface and he disguised it with another trade-mark scowl.

“Only one way to find out.”

~

“What’re the stakes?” _He’ll back out for sure. No one ever comes close to beating me, not even Makoto._

 _…Might as well be practical._   “I win, you help me in English.”

  _Rin definitely needs it…_ “I win, you teach me butterfly.”

“Ha, you’re on!”

~

“No cheating, Matsuoka.”

Grins and smirks.

“I don’t need to _cheat_ to beat you, Nanase.”

Pushes and pulls.

“We’ll see about that…”

Baits and hooks.

“Oi, goggles and hat off. We’re making this as even as we can.”

The cool of the starting blocks between their toes, the light burn shooting up the back of their legs as they both bent down, finger tips gripping the smooth tile firmly, muscles coiling and tensing, itching for release, eyeing each other wearily, sizing each other up, not one wanting to be the first to make the first move – all was forgotten as, as if on instinct, both boys leapt towards the water like panthers, bodies sleek and toned with near-muscle memory of the familiar position of their dives. Before, the water had been calm and cool, a relief for both of them. Now, it seemed to boil with drive and passion, fuelling the competition that raged like an inferno between them.

Electricity sparked as they began their strokes, breath panting with each tilt of their heads towards each other, equally aware of the others position, mutually mindful of where they were in relation to the other and the distinct lack of space between their bodies which added to the incredible heat that scorched through them both. Muscles ached and screamed in protest as they urged each other on, the scent of chlorine and sweat and skin heavy in their nostrils and mouths as they gasped for breath. 100 meters stretched on for what seemed like miles, the only marker signalling that their swim did in fact have an end being the turn, which each boy executed perfectly, using the solid anchoring of the pool wall along with each other’s buzzing energy to catapult themselves further, faster, constantly pushing. The mantra in both their heads?  To beat the other.

~

The pool wall rushed up to meet them in a blaze. Their palms slapped wetly against the side, skin stinging at the sudden impact, gasps of breath ripping through their throats as they simultaneously came up for air. Hair matted Rin’s face and his eyes were raw from the chlorine. His legs burned and every muscle screamed as adrenaline pumped through them, but a grin was slowly spreading across his features despite the pain. That had been…intense, to say the least. The way his body had cut through the water like a knife, mirroring each of Haruka’s equally-precise strokes had been completely overwhelming. Coupled with the feel of the water around them, bubbling with anticipation and competition, and Rin had been unable to think of anything else other than _winning_.

Now, though, he wasn’t so sure that the outcome of the race really mattered that much. He had no burning desire to know the result, no gripping anxiety at the thought of losing, only a vague curiosity that tickled his insides as he tried to slow his breathing to a normal level and will the dizzy feeling flooding his head. Sharp pants from his left brought Rin back to the moment – Haru’s head was bowed, eyes squeezed shut as his chest rose and fell rapidly. Rin could feel the heat still emanating from his body and water dripped down his neck and shoulders, soft _pat pats_ of the droplets returning home the only sound aside from their breathing.

As if aware of Rin’s gaze, Haruka raised his head and looked Rin dead in the eyes. Stormy blue met raging red and both boys stared at each other for a moment, drinking in the remnants of their race as they both tried to calm down enough to talk.

“I-“ Rin choked out, breaking the tense silence stretching between them. Haru silenced him with a warning glance, and Rin swallowed. Should he say something? To Rin, this was a moment that should not be ruined by his pathetic mumblings but instead left to stretch on – this was a new side of Haruka, intense and passionate like Rin had never seen. He’d never met anyone as dedicated to swimming as he was, until Haruka turned up and his heart was beating double time to prove it. After another minute of silence, Rin twitching impatiently and Haruka staring up at the sky, his breaths finally returned to normal and the raven haired boy turned back to Rin with brooding eyes.

“You won.” He said shortly, gaze piercing and – Rin frowned in confusion – _jealous_?

“I- Did I?” Haruka nodded slowly and Rin countered with a shake of his head.

“I don’t know,” he stuttered, “A-And I don’t care, even if you’d won, you wouldn’t have had to teach me English but _damn_ , Nanase, that was some swim I mean-“

“I know.”

“Y-you _know_?”

“I know-” Haru paused, gritting his teeth, “-how you _feel_.” He looked away from Rin, a small blush dotting his cheeks. _What the hell?_ he asked himself, feeling his lips twist into a grimace, _you sound like one of those idiots for Makoto’s shoujo manga for godsake._

He felt Rin shift beside him and Haru tensed, waiting to feel him pulling himself out of the water, a look of horror plastered across his face as he hurried from the pool without so much as a backward glance and-

Haru started in shock. A palm blocked his gaze, wide and pale and hovering just within Haru’s reach. He glanced at Rin curiously, but the redhead just stared resolutely back and with a small shrug, he watched as Haru hesitantly raised his hand from the water and placed it gently against Rin’s. Water dripped down both of their wrists and fingers, mingling and merging as it ran in rivulets back down to the pool.

Another spark of electricity jumped through Rin’s veins and he quickly removed his hand from Haru’s, grinning wildly and trying in vain to dampen the pooling heat in his abdomen. _Not now not now not now_ he chanted to himself. Moment completely shattered ( _way to go Matsuoka_ ), he smiled at Haru tightly in what he hoped was a convincingly nonchalant grin before clapping the raven haired boy on the shoulder and pulling himself out of the pool, not fast enough to miss the curious and slightly disappointed look the other boy shot his way.

Shaking out his wet hair, Rin pulled it from its bun with a tug and ran his fingers through it a few times. As he moved to gather his clothes, he heard more splashes as Haru slid up onto the side too. Knees quivering slightly with the chill of the air and the fierce awareness of the water slipping down Haru’s toned chest and legs, Rin whistled lightly to himself as he quickly tugged his t-shirt over his damp skin and shoved his feet into his boots. Shoving his jeans into his backpack and ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of wet skin on cotton, Rin turned back around to find Haru watching him intently. Glancing down at himself, Rin’s mouth twisted slightly.

“I’ll wash them and get them back to you,” he explained, fingers tugging at the tight fabric shrouding his thighs. Haruka nodded silently, gaze moving away from Rin awkwardly. Neither one said a word. The owl hooted again nearby, startling some birds in a nearby tree and causing a ruckus of wings to echo through the night. Rin coughed lightly, and rubbed at the back of his neck, brining Haru’s attention back to him.

“So, uh, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? We have English.” Rin sounded unsure and Haruka quickly swallowed down his disappointment at the note of finality in the redhead’s voice.

“Maybe,” he replied shortly, gaze flicking away again. He couldn’t handle the pressuring gaze Rin was sending his way, filled with expectation and promise and _hope._ This wasn’t how it was supposed to be – he was not here to make friends, wasn’t here to mess about at night in some random pool with some random guy, he was here to study and learn and pass and go _home,_ back to the people who cared about him and missed him – who _he_ missed.

This _thing_ was just a distraction, and it was only going to get worse – nobody had ever beaten Haru at free. Not Makoto, not Rei, not Nagisa – and suddenly _Matsuoka_ barrels into his life and grins his stupid grin and invades his personal space and Haru finds himself immersed in it all and not even caring that someone touched the wall before he did, that was as at one with the water as he was. It needed to stop – he was in too deep.

Rin frowned in confusion, disappointment bitter in the back of his throat – Haru looked totally uninterested, unable to look at Rin for more than a second before something else grabbed his attention. “Right. Well, thanks for the…you know. Maybe we could swim again at…some point?”  

Haruka’s face was blank and bored (a blatant no in Rin’s eyes, a look that screamed _what are you even talking about you’re you and I’m me but there’s no we)_ – the Haruka that had come alive in the pool was dead and buried, strong walls fortified by his deadpan gaze severing any contact Rin had had with the boy inside. With an angry sigh, the tiredness he had felt all night (previous to his encounter with Haru) came crashing back down on him like a rock. His legs and arms felt like jelly, his back ached numbly and the starts of a headache were starting to knock at his skull.

“Look, I don’t think it’s a good that we see each other-“ The ravenette started, looking at Rin cautiously.

“Whatever. I get it.” His words were bitter. _I don’t have time for this shit,_ he thought to himself angrily as he viciously grasped his backpack and stalked towards the exit. _What are you ever doing? It’s probably past midnight by now, and here you are on private property with a guy you’re fawning over, who’s probably not even gay, blushing like a middle school girl when you should be at home, sleeping._ Something deep inside him hoped in vain to hear footsteps follow him, maybe a soft voice calling out to him, but he’d reached the gate without so much as a sound slipping from Haru’s lips. With a final glare at the swim club sign, Rin leapt over the gate and began to jog home.

~

The next day, a Tuesday, Rin couldn’t so much as look at Haruka without an angry flush settling on his features and making his skin crawl. His insides boiled with embarrassment every time the raven-haired boy ghosted across his eye line.

The day after that, the blue eyed boy was greeted with gritted teeth, clenched jaws and tactically placed hair to hide magenta eyes. Any attempt made by the teacher at engaging Rin during English were sharply rebuffed with a snapped answer or a heated glare, a scuffle of chair legs and a widening gap between both their desks.

On the fourth day, Rin didn’t bother turning up.

On the fifth day, Haruka tried to stop caring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, shit had to go down at some point ^-^ i can only be nice for a maximum of 3 chapters oops


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here, have a Monday update because I hate Mondays and I just ate 4 doughnuts (╥_╥)
> 
> p.s it's Rinharu week starting the 20th stay tuned if you like badly written oneshots and more fluff than your stomach can handle ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

“Nanase? A word please?”

“…Yes?”

“I think you know what I’m going to say to you.”

“…”

“Your grades are down, Nanase. By a lot.”

“…how much?”

“You’re just scraping a C.”

“…”

“This isn’t like you. I thought you enjoyed English?”

“I do.”

“…Is there something I can help you with? Something I can do to get you back on track?”

“No.”

“Then…is there _someone_ I can help you with?”

“…No.”

“I’m not blind, Nanase, I make an effort to notice things that happen in my class. It’s my job, as a teacher, to ensure the wellbeing of _all_ my students. Right now - and correct me if I’m wrong – both your and Matsuoka's grades are bottom of the class.”

“…”

“I’m sensing a problem here. A very tense and very childish problem.”

“…”

“That problem is Matsuoka Rin.”

_The problem has always been Matsuoka Rin._

“I need you to know that anything that happens outside of my classroom cannot make its way in. Do you understand me?”

“…”

“Nanase?”

“I understand.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“…”

“As your teacher, I advise you to put in a lot of effort into working this weekend…and as a friend, I ask that you kindly get over yourself and fix things, if not for both of your sakes, but for the sake of your education.”

“There’s nothing to fix.”

“…”

“I’m fine. It’s fine. There’s nothing to fix.”

~

“Oi, Matsuoka! Rin! Wait up!” Heavy footsteps thundered behind Rin, growing closer every second and adding to the already-throbbing drumbeat in his head. A large figure pulled up beside him, broad shoulders sporting two bags and a dark green jacket. Deep, teal eyes observed Rin from the side, crinkled in concern –dark bags were carved into his skin which was lacking its usual shine. His hair was wild and unkempt, hanging tangled around his ears and his lips were pressed into a thin line – it was a look Sosuke had become accustomed to seeing over the past few days.

Being in both Sports Phycology and Biology together, the two boys had been aware of each other’s presence from the start – back then Rin had been boisterous and full of smiles, easy to talk to and easy to get along with, but Sosuke had been too involved with the work to give much thought to the animated guy sitting just to his left in both lessons.

It was only on Tuesday that Sosuke had actually approached Rin, after both being thrown into catch-up when failing to complete their homework, which was unlike Rin who Souske had noted had a more or less spotless track record when it came to things like that. Through an hour of silence and awkward glances, some sort of half-friendship had formed in rebellion against the teacher that stood lecturing them about the importance of homework and good conduct.

After being released, the two had wandered the school halls in companionable silence before exchanging brief smiles and parting ways. From then on, their friendship had been forged. On that day, Rin had been quiet, and slightly grim, but nothing like how he was now. In short, Rin looked ill.

“So,” he began. Rin’s downturned gaze didn’t even flicker and the only sign that Sosuke’s voice had actually registered was the small curve of Rin’s lips into a half-frown. “Fancy heading to the gym with us tonight? Some of the guys from Sport Psych. asked if we wanted to tag along.”

“Not tonight.” Rin replied shortly before tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and casting Sosuke a weary glance at the frown marring his friend’s forehead.

“Why not?”

“I have things.” Rin replied awkwardly.

“Things? What things?”

“Just _things_!” A large hand was waved at his Sosuke angrily, but before the teal-eyed boy could reply Rin was stalking away at double the pace. On impulse, Sosuke reached out and grabbed the back of Rin’s jacket, the fabric bunching at his shoulder, and spun him around to face him with a sharp tug. Rin huffed in surprise and shot Sosuke a thin glare as he pulled himself away. They stood facing each other, students casting them curious glances at the stormy looks of thunder brewing between them.

“What’s up with you, Matsuoka? You’ve been acting weird all week.” Sosuke’s voice was hard and demanding. Rin scoffed, folding his arms tightly across his chest.

“Nothing’s _up,_ ” he sneered, but from the raise of Sosuke’s brow he wasn’t convinced.

“Dude, you’ve been out of it all week. Your grades are down, I saw how you did in that Biology test the other day - and I know for a fact you didn’t go to English today _or_ yesterday.”

“Wha- who told you?!”

“I had Miho-sensei up my ass asking after you. Said she was worried, and that you needed to see her for catch-up or something. I thought you liked English?” This news was accompanied by a loud groan from Rin, and a flash of sharp teeth in a sardonic grin. His hands felt leaden as they reached up to run impatiently through his knotted hair; Sosuke’s concerned gaze made his shoulders hunch and his head pound like an alarm bell.

“What did you tell her?” he sighed dejectedly. Sosuke just shrugged.

“I told her you weren’t feeling too good. I think she believed me, she went off in search of some kid called Nanase after that so-“

“What did you say?”

“What? I said I told her you were ill and-“

“No! After that, what did you say?”

“I said she went looking for Nanase, but I had no idea who he was so I wasn’t much help to her-“

“Shit, Sosuke. I have to go,” Rin said suddenly, eyes wide and strangely blank. He was shifting from foot to foot impatiently, gaze darting around him rapidly. “Sorry.” Sosuke stared at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The redhead just shook his head rapidly – he reminded Sosuke of a cornered cat, shackles up and gaze suspicious and alarmed. “Matsuoka, don’t-“ Rin turned abruptly on his heel, practically sprinting off campus and leaving Sosuke gaping after him in incredulity.

 _What the heck was up with that guy?_ Whoever this Nanase was, he’d definitely struck a chord in Rin; that was an understatement – just the mention of his name had jarred Rin to his core. Sosuke had seen it in his startled gawk, the tense set of his lips (which Sosuke had thought couldn’t be pressed any thinner) and his hasty exit.

Altogether, it made him _extremely_ suspicious. If something was biting at Rin, he wanted to find out what – or who – it was. He hadn’t made many friends yet, and didn’t plan on it, but Rin was a good guy and Sosuke actually liked him. With the name Nanase fresh on his mind, Sosuke grimaced determinedly and set off back towards the entrance hall. He had some digging to do.

~

Silence surrounded Haruka like thick honey, only punctured by the faint sound of pages turning and the delicate _tap tap_ of someone’s keyboard. The library was a refuge point for Haru, filled with none of the bustle or noise of the town and campus and a place where people minded their own business. Which was why he found himself here after class on Friday, arms sunk low to the table in a remote corner just next to the Crime and Mystery section and book propped up in front of him. It was thick and obviously newly produced but Haru was barely taking in anything he read. The words floated over his head in soft waves, crashing down behind him and becoming lost forever as Haru stared at the pages blindly.

Around him, students tiptoed quietly and whispered conversation floated through the air, which was strong with the smell of old books and coffee. Over the past week, Haru had frequented the library every day, using it mainly as an excuse not to engage or talk to anyone. Once, a girl he knew from his Art class had spotted him hunched in the corner and approached him with a smile – only to be shooed away with a trademark glare and a turned head.

Sighing deeply, Haru gave up on the book and slammed it shut loudly with an irritated huff, which earned him disapproving gazes from the few people nearby. He raised his arms above his head and stretched languidly, feeling his joints pop as he cracked his neck and relaxed again in a sprawl across the table.

Descending into another bout of brooding, Haru felt his thoughts slip back onto a track they’d been running on for a while now – _Matsuoka_   _Rin._ The name made Haruka twitch with guilt and exasperation. Matsuoka had caused all this – Haru’s slowly dropping grades, the stupid inability to just switch off his mind and completely space out without intrusive thoughts of the redhead crawling back in, the need for silence and isolation and – the thing that Haru hated the most – the _complete_ absence of any burning desire to swim.

Since That Night (as Haru’s subconscious had begun referring to it by), Haruka had not returned to the pool despite many sleepless nights and limbs itching for the burn and ache that could distract him. It was an endless, vicious circle: thoughts of Rin invaded his head and made sleep impossible but the only thing that would cure that was swimming. Swimming was out of the question – Haru didn’t think he’d be returning to the pool any time soon, not after the events of Monday night that were so fresh and raw in his mind.

The spark of electricity he’d felt when swimming with Rin still crackled through his veins whenever the guy wandered casually into his line of sight or shifted in his seat in English (which was now a good 2 meters away from Haruka’s desk.) He knew he’d upset Rin, or offended him, or both. After the shock of defeat and the presence of strange, new emotions swirling through him that Haru _really_ wasn’t prepared to feel yet, making everything messed up and blurry, his actions had been dumb and had _definitely_ got to Rin. In the split second where Haru had been scared, nervous and confused, the landslide of Rin’s hurt gaze had rendered him speechless, and here he was now with his friend count at 0 again and his brain ready to give up and sleep all weekend.

Haru threw his head forward, his forehead banging onto the now-closed book with a dull thud. _Stupid Rin and his stupid hair and stupid eyes that seem to stare right through me, looking all understanding and friendly and the stupid face that shows everything he’s feeling even if I don’t want to see, why can’t he hide it? Why does he have to be so goddamn_ open _?!_ In the back of his head, something raised its eyebrows judgingly.

 _[Why can’t_ you _be open? You’re closed off, you’re unattached. Look at you here: you’re all alone in a place full of people your own age, nice people you could have fun with and who could help you enjoy your time here. You’re not here as a punishment – talking to one or two people, spending time with them; it doesn’t mean you’re going to want to spend the rest of your life here! You had the chance with Rin, he was ready and willing to spend time with you. He was enjoying your company! The first person here to pay attention to you, to react to you in a positive way that wasn’t mocking or scornful to the fact you can’t fucking make conversation with anyone without being a sarcastic, introverted bitch and-]_

Suddenly, a different voice cut in. “Yo, are you Nanase?” Haru heaved his head up sharply, eyes narrowing as the stranger who towered over him stared at him curiously. He was tall and well-built, his eyes threatening and heavy as they consulted Haru under dark, slanted brows.

“Who wants to know?” Haru’s voice was rough and tired and, save for a bright red patch on his forehead where it had rested against the book, his whole face was pale and haggard – just as pale as Rin’s, Sosuke thought with a sigh. This was definitely the guy.

After his brief conversation with Rin, he’d gone straight to Rin’s English teacher and asked if she could help him. He hadn’t explained everything fully, but one mention of trying to improve Rin’s grades and she’d been happy to help.

“There’s a saying that goes,” she’d cried happily, clasping her hands at her chest and beaming at Sosuke with an 1000 watt smile, “A friend in need is a friend indeed. I’m so glad you’re willing to help with Rin, he’s been so distracted lately and I-“

“Yeah, about that,” Sosuke had cut across, quickly tiring of how damn happy she was. “I was wondering if you knew where I could find Nanase? You mentioned him earlier and I thought you could…” The sunny expression had dimmed almost immediately, and Sosuke had trailed off, looking unsure.

“Ah, I see.” Miho-sensei had nodded gravely, looking at Sosuke with sympathetic eyes but an encouraging smile. “In fact, I do know where to find him.” Moving closer to the tall student, the teacher had placed a kind hand upon his shoulder. “Between you and me, Yamazaki, I would hurry. Teenage boys can be particularly ignorant, and Matsuoka is in serious danger of being removed from this course if his grades don’t right themselves soon. Tell him that, would you?” And so, Sosuke had found himself in a previously unexplored area of campus, searching the small tide of students for the jet-black mop of hair, electric blue eyes and ‘fucking weird’ countenance that had been so aptly described to him after inquiring with a student at the library doors; this was definitely the guy.

“I do,” Sosuke replied gruffly, dropping his bag to the floor and pulling up a chair on the opposite side of the table so he could face Haru, who stared at Sosuke with as much venom as he could muster; it must not have been enough, as Sosuke just chuckled and relaxed back into the chair with an easy smile but worried eyes. “So, you are Nanase?”

“Yes. Why?”

“I think you can probably help me.” Sosuke watched Haru frown in confusion.

“With what?” Haru asked cautiously – he’d never met this guy before, so what could he possibly want? He didn’t have time for this, he needed to get home and sleep, make himself some food…“And how did you know my-“

“It’s about Rin.”

Cerulean eyes met teal in an explosion of guilt, worry and indecision that was quickly dampened with a sharp glare.

“I’ll give you the short version – his grades are shit, he’s started skipping class and he’s about to be kicked off the English course, which was his favourite subject, in case you hadn’t noticed. I don’t care what sort of messed up feud you’ve got going on between you, but your name cropped up and I heard you need the help too so you better step up. Matsuoka needs your help, basically. And I don’t know what’s going on with him right now, but he doesn’t deserve this and I’m pretty sure _you’ve_ got something to do with it.  I think you owe him this.”

Sosuke knew from the way Nanase’s whole body practically slumped into the desk that he’d hit the bull’s eye.

~

It was 7pm and Rin was splayed across his bed, flat on his back, shoes still on and hair frizzy and wild in a halo on his pillow, drifting in and out of consciousness on a tide of exhausted sleep. His body felt drained and heavy, sinking into the mattress with every breath that ghosted out of his parted lips. His jeans and top were creased with wrinkles, the soft skin of his left cheek indented with pillow lines where he’d tossed and turned for the past hour in a restless attempt to recuperate his energy. He’d tried studying, tried taking a walk, tried fixing himself dinner to distract himself, but all to no avail. In a flush of fatigue that left his eyes watering and head spinning, he’d collapsed onto his bed (clothes still on) and tried to pass out.

After what felt like a lifetime of rolling over where his mind just wouldn't shut up, exhaustion had finally granted him some relief and he’d begun snoring lightly in what he hoped would prove a good night’s sleep. He’d been here just over 2 weeks and already he was sick of it. All pretense of rest was shattered, however, when someone had the bloody cheek to text him. The vibrations shook Rin’s skull, jolting him sharply from his misty haze of sleep and he cracked his eyes open blearily. Grit glued his lids together, his mouth was dry and sour and his head throbbed with the beginnings of yet another headache. Groaning loudly, his hand groped wildly around the covers until they brushed the edge of his mobile and he thumbed the buttons blindly in an attempt to unlock it.

Although it was fairly light inside his flat, the milky glow of the freshly risen moon flooding in and mingling with the yellow of the street lights outside, Rin still winced as the screen lit up and displayed the new message in the form of a small flashing icon.

 _New message! From: unknown_ Hissing in irritation, he navigated on to it with a brief swipe of his finger. If he’d woken up for spam mail…

_From: unknown  
I hope your flat’s tidy._

Rin stared at the message, reading it again, and then once more. _What the fuck?_ Unfortunately, another message snapped him from his confusion as Sosuke’s name flashed up on the screen. His frown still prominent on his forehead and sleep still clouding his features, Rin pulled up the text and scanned it quickly.

_From: Yamazaki Sosuke  
Get up, idiot. And tidy your flat._

Before Rin could process what the fuck was going on, 3 sharp raps at his front door interrupted him.

“What in the world…” Rin mumbled to himself as he heaved himself out of bed and lurched towards the front door. Kicking off his trainers halfway, his bare feet padded gently across the floor and he held his phone loosely in one hand. Reaching the door, Rin ran a hand through his hair (which he was sure looked awful but he was beyond caring now, it was a Friday night after all and whoever this punk was, he was going to be in for a nasty shock because sleepy Rin is something no one should see and pissed off AND sleepy Rin was basically Death personified) and pulled the door open in one swift motion.

“What the fuck do you- fuck!“

As it turns out, Rin probably should have had a better grasp on the phone. It slid unceremoniously out of his hand and landed with a clatter on the floor as Rin’s jaw fell open and the breath caught in his throat.

~

Okay, so he definitely should have tidied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I can't do plot and I can't do Sousuke my apologies people


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 things you need to know  
> -i can't write plot  
> -i can't write romance  
> -i can't write people  
> ??? enjoy i guess??

_Holy shit what the hell_ “Nanase?!”

“…” _he’s been asleep_

“What the fuck are you doing at my house?!” _he can’t be here, look at the mess jesus okay calm down, it’s not that bad just some clothes and shows and oh shit is that last nights pizza?!_

 _Wait, is that pizza?_ “…Yamazaki.”

“What do you mean ‘Yamazaki? You mean Sosuke?!” _and not to mention my hair, I must look like a tramp, how long have I been in these clothes? Wait no don’t think about that, just get him gone already_

 _they’re on a first name basis?_ “Can I come in?” _say no say no say yes say no_

_What no of course he can’t come in, is he joking, look at me I’m a mess I probably have drool all over my face and I probably smell because when was the last time you had a shower Matsuoka, seriously, you’ve let yourself go and it’s probably because of this guy who’s stood on your doorstep looking all cute and confused, and wait he’s got a bag what-_

“Matsuoka?” _wait is he talking to me?_

“W-what?”

_…………_

“Your hair looks like shit.”

~

And so, 2 hours and lots of awkward silence later, the boys found themselves slumped tiredly around Rin’s kitchen table with text books laid out in front of them, pens idly scratching against paper and the tap of Rin’s foot on the table leg loud in the echoing room. After crossing out his answer for the 3rd time in a row, Rin threw his pen down with a long sigh. Wincing, he stretched his arms above his head and felt his back twitch in protest. He’d been sat down too long – the words were starting to swim on the page in front of him, a mix of English and Japanese that made his head thump. His stomach growled in agreement.

“Food,” he muttered, more to himself than anything, and heaved himself up and out of his chair. It was only when he was half way across the kitchen did he realise that soft footsteps padded after him; it was then he remembered his visitor. Reaching the fridge, Rin stifled a grin behind the door as Haru observed him softly, leaning against the counter top as he watched the corner of Rin’s eyes crinkle. Haru’s fingers twitched, itching to card through the wave of unruly hair that was slipping from the confines of Rin’s loose ponytail.

When he’d first been let in by a ruby red and more than a little irate Matsuoka, Haruka had stared at the flat in disbelief. It was filthy – even worse than his own. DVDs and books were strewn across the floor, which was carpeted in discarded clothes and blankets, and balanced precariously on every available shelf.

The sofa was mussed and the cushions were all in a tangle which led Haru to believe it had been slept on sometime recently. Rin’s legskins and towels were pegged haphazardly to a thin washing line, the faint smell of swimming pool floating towards him. Used mugs and plates littered the small coffee table in the centre of the room, boasting half eaten sandwiches and an old box of pizza and the whole flat smelled of laundry detergent, black coffee and a hint of chlorine. _It smells of him_ , Haru had thought with a start.

“I, uh, I would have tidied but-” Rin had stammered, eyeing Haruka nervously as the azure gaze took in the bombsite in front of him. Hooking a stray t-shirt on his toe, Rin flicked it up into his hand and started gathering the clothes around him into a makeshift pile. His hands shook lightly and his whole face like it was on fire – he was more than sure it looked that way too. “-I didn’t know you were coming until literally 2 minutes ago, it’s not usually like this I swear. It's usual tidy, clean, you know like a normal house.”

“It’s perfect.”

Red eyes had met blue, startled and alarmed.

“P-perfect?! Look at this mess! It’s hardly perf-”

Haru had reached over to the trembling redhead with an affectionate snort, tugging the clothes out of his grasp and dumping them back where they’d come from. Rin’s arms were still outstretched in the arm, mouth hanging open in shock. Haru smiled again, the small pull of his lips making Rin blush even more. _What an idiot._ "You worry too much."

“Come on. We’ve got to study.” And with that, Haru had toed off his shoes, abandoning them in the doorway and walked straight for the kitchen table without waiting for Rin to respond. Pulling out a chair, he’d dropped his bag to the floor and immediately produced a large stack of worksheets and study guides and a whole load of pens and pencils, before looking expectantly at Rin who was staring at him strangely.

“What?” Haru’s tone was curious, his eyes gazing at Rin unwaveringly. A red pen was clutched in his grasp, poised over his first piece of paper. Rin had shaken his head with what he hoped was an angry huff but it came out as more of an exasperated sigh. Slamming the front door shut, Rin had stalked back into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him with a muttered “getting changed” before falling back against it, heart pounding in his chest. He was here, at his house, at his kitchen table. _He looks comfortable here,_ had Rin thought with a bubble of happiness he hadn’t felt all week, all year, all-  _it looks like he belongs._

~

Rin had emerged sporting fresh, black jeans and a worn, red vest top that hung low on his chest and long on his hips. His hair had been brushed back into a makeshift ponytail, earning him an amused glance form Haruka, and the shark tooth necklace that brushed his collarbone was nearly as sharp as the teeth Rin had flashed at him in response. But all these reactions from Haruka were tame compared to the burst of violent laughter that escaped him, much to both of their embarrassments, the moment Rin pulled out a pair of thick rimmed, grey reading glasses and pushed them up to the bridge of his nose which was slowly turning a peachy red colour.

“They’re for reading.” Rin growled, eyes narrowing and slightly magnified by the lenses. Haru stared at them, grin still playing on his lips as he watched the red of Rin’s eyes glint dangerously in the low light of the kitchen as it reflected off the glasses. Haruka had decided it was probably best not to say anything, but shot Rin amused looks throughout the night every time the offending item was pushed up the bridge of his nose, or shoved back into his hair line while Rin rubbed at his eyes in annoyance. Although he wouldn’t admit it, Haruka thought they looked good – they made Rin look older, make his childishly youthful face more mature and defined and the dark colour definitely suited him.

Right now though, the glasses were discarded on the table amongst the pile of books and Rin’s eyes were narrowed as they gazed into the fridge. Haru frowned at the pained look on his face and the grim set of his mouth, so different from the easy grin Haruka had become used to.

“What?” he asked, uncrossing his legs and walking over to Rin who stepped aside to allow Haruka to slot in next to him. Both stooping, cool air washed over their faces as they peered at the shelves – which were bare, save for another old pizza box, a bottle of sparkling water, a few oranges and a suspicious looking packet of old sushi. Rin glanced at Haru apologetically.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t want to eat this stuff. I mean, the oranges are pretty fresh but I can’t even remember buying that sushi.” He trailed off with a nervous laugh, rubbing at the back of his neck and ruffling the ponytail in the process. Haru’s eyes followed the motion with morbid intensity that made Rin flush even harder. In the silence of the kitchen, everything was magnified and Rin found his chest tight for breath – he felt anxious and observed all over. “So, uh, what do you want to do? I mean we could go out somewhere or go to the shop or I don’t know, are you hungry? I’m hungry; I could definitely eat something right now-”

“Matsuoka,” Rin balked, still rubbing at his neck furiously. “Quit babbling, idiot. Yes I’m hungry – let’s go out.”

~

“So, what do you want?”

“Mackerel.”

“Eh?! Dude, this is a ramen place.”

“I know. I just want mackerel.”

“…Well, they do the fish one. Will that do?”

“Hm. Guess it’ll have to.”

“Jeez, don’t have it if you don’t want to!”

“…”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

~

Rin slurped up the last of his noodles before setting down his spoon and settling back against the hard back of his chair with a satisfied sigh. The air was thick with the smell of ramen and fried vegetables and a heavy contentment settled over Rin as his hunger died away. The guy sat opposite him still picked slowly at the bowl in front of him, dark hair hanging into his eyes, occasionally finding a noodle or chunk of fish that was to his taste and popping it in his mouth. With a small grin, Rin dug a hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone, glancing at the time stowed away in the corner of the screen. It was about quarter to 10 and the streets were already clearing of Friday night-goers. The small restaurant they were in was lit with dim lanterns, the buzz of insects quiet on the cool breeze and the chatter of other customers lulling as the night pushed on. With a sigh, Rin looked at Haru.

“You nearly done? It’s getting kind of late.” Haru quirked an eyebrow at him, something strange and unidentifiable ( _disappointment?!_ )flashing in his eyes, finishing his mouthful of noodles before replying.

“It’s a Friday night.”

“I know that, idiot,” Rin flushed, “I’m just tired, okay?” His jaw snapped shut audibly and he turned his head away as his cheeks flushed brighter. Despite the cool air, Rin was uncomfortably warm. Haru glanced down at his bowl as a taut silence blanketed their table, seemingly absorbed in the pattern his noodles made on the side of the bowl. The unspoken words echoed between them: _not since we swam._

 _Shit,_ Rin thought angrily, _way to ruin it, Matsuoka Everything was fine and nice, but you couldn’t keep your big mouth shut._

“Sorry, I-“ At the sound of Rin’s nervous voice cutting through the silence, he tore his eyes away from his half-finished food to stare at Rin, who was still resolutely looking anywhere but Haruka. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m not good with questions and shit like that.”

Haru swallowed past the lump in his throat. “No, it’s fine. I understand. “

“Seriously, don’t-“

“Matsuoka-“

“Look, are you done?” Rin jerked out of his chair clumsily, gesturing to the bowl in front of Haruka and (without waiting for a reply) hurried over to the serving counter, face nearly as red as the loose strands of hair that hung around it.

_Dammit dammit dammit dammit_

“Table 4 please.”

_What is wrong with you what is wrong with you_

“Certainly sir. Will that be all?”

“Yeah. Keep the change.”

_Keep_

“We are grateful for your hospitality.”

_It_

“We hope you visit again soon.”

_Calm_

“Have a nice night.”

~

Haru’s heart pounded in time with his footsteps, hard, hesitant, echoing. His whole body thumped, shoulders heavy with the unspoken words suspended between him and the boy who slouched next to him. For once, however, Haruka was the only nervous one – Rin walked with an air of defeat enveloping him and the despondent curve of his shoulders and the grim set of his mouth set Haru on edge even more than the evening so far had, making him question his every move.

Should he say something?

Should he keep quiet?

He was scared to say anything, really. He hadn’t really noticed it before, the way Rin reacted to things. It was volatile, passionate and –Haru swallowed uneasily-completely the fault of Rin’s own fears about the situation.

Frowning hard, Haru’s mind spun as he watched Rin profile in the moonlight. It was deep in thought, his eyes flickering each way, analysing everything, anxious when there was nothing to be—

One set of footsteps stopped suddenly; the other petered out slowly, as if only then realising they were making the journey alone. Dark boots turned to face blue trainers in the darkening light of the empty street. Both shifted as the silence stretched on.

The blue was the first to break it.

~

“You skipped class.”

“Yeah.”

“You failed the English test.”

“Yeah.”

“Your grades are dropping.”

“Yeah.”

“….you avoided me all week.”

An audible swallow.   
The shifting of feet and the rustling of clothes.  
The once un-breached territory being well and truly invaded.

Haruka hadn’t meant for it to sound so accusatory, hadn’t meant his voice to be soft and small and needy but the overwhelming stack of emotions that had been growing and growing all week, becoming ever more precarious, was finally crumbling before him. His guard was down; obliterated by the mournful glance Rin sent his way, eyes so vulnerable and _open_ that they wouldn’t have looked out of place on a guilty child, or a fox trapped in the headlights.

Haru’s question, only one word, was like a loaded gun pressed to Rin’s temple. “Why?” Haru’s grip on the trigger was unwavering – but his fingers trembled when Rin met his gaze. “You barely know me.”

“I-I don’t know.” The bark of laughter that escaped with this was grating and rough. “I don’t know, okay? Who knows why anyone does anything. I didn’t feel like it, I didn’t feel like going to class and doing nothing but think about you and-” Rin bit his lip with enough force to break the skin – the taste of iron flooded his mouth which was already dry as a desert. “It’s just the way I am. The way I’ve always been, I guess.” Swallowing, he looked away from Haruka’s cobalt stare and to the ground again, kicking at the concrete with venom.

The change in Rin’s personality was lighting fast.  “Happy now?” he bit out, anger burning at his throat, “You’ve got it out of me, finally. Feel any better?” Haruka just continued to gaze at him, unwavering, and Rin finally broke. “Jesus- Fine! Just stand there and _stare_ , it’s fine, I’ll just wait until you’re ready to say something – or even better yet, maybe I could just tell what you’re thinking from the expressions on your face but- wait! That won’t happen, will it? Because there is no fucking expression, it’s just _blank_ all the time, you never show _anything_ and it makes me second guess myself _so much_ , more than I already do. Not everyone is as confident as you, okay? Some people have problems with that shit, you don’t even know-“ Rin drew in a rasping breath, eyes and lungs burning. _Jesus, don’t cry,_ he pleaded with himself silently, _don’t cry breath don’t cry don’t-_

“Matsuoka,” _there it is again, that name from those lips like some goddamn hook or drug or-_ “Look at me.” _Oh yeah, to see what? Disdain or disgust like at the pool?_

“Shit.” What Rin saw in that cerulean gaze was certainly not disdain or disgust. There was no trace of contempt, no hint of boredom or disinterest and the intensity of it made Rin wince, but he couldn’t look away. Even with the few meters between them, energy zipped and sizzled as Haru just looked at him, face open and unlocked for Rin to see, emotion pouring into his eyes and the set of his jaw and the way his eyebrows tilted down slightly. It was confusion, nervousness, pity, guilt, shame, self-consciousness and hope personified. Finally, Rin’s shoulders felt lighter than they had all week.

“S-stop staring at me, idiot,” he mumbled with a fierce blush which spread from his collarbone (just visible under his top) all the way to the tips of his ears in record time. Haruka either didn’t hear or didn’t care, assaulting Rin with his wide eyes. “Okay! I get it! You actually _are_ human, not some weird-ass robot…” A small grin played at his lips but the tension was still tangible in the air. With some of his usual confidence restored, Rin toed the ground awkwardly.

“So, uh, you weren’t angry or…anything…?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“Because I beat you and stuff…and then high fived you…” It sounded lame even to Rin’s ears.

“And you thought I’d be angry about that?”

“Yeah, angry or…something like that.”

“Like what?”

“I-“ Rin’s skin burned where his palm rubbed ferociously at the back of his neck. “I don’t know, okay? Just, when we got out of the pool you looked so bored and- and indifferent, or something. And I was far from feeling that and I thought… I thought you regretted it. I thought you didn’t feel what I felt and it made me feel ridiculous and stupid and- and kinda shit about myself. You were my first friend here; I thought I’d fucked it up.” Rin’s usually pale skin was flushed deep scarlet and he licked his lips nervously. “I pretty much think I fuck everything up.” When Haruka made no move to reply, his whole body deflated. _Super,_ he thought. With one last glance at the frozen statue in front of him, Rin turned his back and took two steps closer to home.

~

“Wait!” Haruka voice rang out in the silence. He watched Rin pause, though the red eyes did not turn to look at him. He was glad they didn’t. Swallowing down the alarm bells ringing in his head, a constant chant that this wasn’t what he wanted to do, feelings and emotions just made things more complicated, he need to stop now before he was in too deep – “I wasn’t meant to make friends when I came here. It was meant to be another year of classes and swimming, which is what I’m used to. I wasn’t meant to fall over on my way to the station, you weren’t meant to find me on the train, I wasn’t meant to speak to you when I saw you working in the supermarket and I’m fairly certain the last thing I would have done if my brain had anything to say about it was invite you to _swim_ with me.” _If Makoto were here, he’d probably be having a heart attack_.

A small smile tugged at his lips – despite Rin’s turned back, the tilt of his head was enough to reassure Haruka that he was listening. “When you beat me, it felt – I can’t even describe it. I hate sharing the water with anyone, but when you were there next to me I felt like you _belonged_. Then I remembered: I’m here for a term to please my parents, just 4 weeks, to try out the courses I know I don’t care about and then to make my excuse and get home as fast as I can. So I did what comes naturally to me – I shut the emotions down. I think you know how that feels – to not be in control of your emotions.” From his place behind Rin, Haruka could see his hands (hanging loosely at his sides) trembling slightly. “When you said you wanted to swim with me again, I was…surprised, I guess. Not many people have wanted to willingly spend their time with me.”

7 steps later and he was beside him.

“I’m sorry. For being a dick.”

One deep breath later and Rin was facing him, hair falling in his eyes which shimmered in the moonlight. “And I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

A gentle flick of Haru’s wrist and the ruby locks were back where they belonged, leaving Rin staring at him without any barriers to hide behind.

10 seconds later and Haruka’s chest felt like it would explode.

3 years (3 seconds) later and the soft brush of Haruka’s lips on Rin’s, accompanied by a gentle, barely audible “ _Rin_ ” probably killed them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so reading this whole story back i feel like it's okay for a first fic, i'm still exploring the characters etc etc but i know the plot is pretty dubious but at the moment i don't really have time to rewrite things so that might come in the future. I hope you're all still enjoying it a bit, despite the silly 'storyline'
> 
> and i was sort of aiming for Rin to have some form of emotional anxiety, probably not accurate at all but I tried ^-^


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 5/12/14 WE REACHED 100 KUDOS THANK YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> warning: shamelessly unchecked, probably full of mistakes and this chapter is all last minute editing because I wasn't happy with basically everything ^-^ also it's really short, sorry!
> 
> other than that, enjoy maybe

_He kissed me he kissed me he kissed_. Rin’s cheeks ached, a giant, bewildered grin cracking his face in two as he threw himself face first into his bed and buried his face in his pillow– he hadn’t smiled for this long in _so long_. _Okay yeah, it was barely lasted a second, sort of like how you’d kiss your little sister but hey, it was a kiss, and he made it so damn hot---_

_***  
                It was now or never. Haruka’s heart beat double-time in his chest. An eerie calm washed over his body, silencing his racing mind and extinguishing the niggling thoughts of doubt that nipped at him. It’s only science, it’s only natural, a flood of blood to the heart nothing more nothing less take a- _

_Deep breath._

_“Rin.” Haru’s lips brushed against Rin’s gently, rough and smooth at the same time. The faintest hints of stubble grazed against the delicate skin of Haru’s cheek and a jolt passed through Haru’s spine, mirroring the shudder Rin gave at the sound of his true name._

_“…nuh.” was the sound that came from Rin. Not beautiful, not eloquent just rough and surprised and so_ Rin _. His mouth dropped open, eyes wide and dark as Haru pulled back to look at him. His lips tingled from the contact, however brief, and a flush of warmth was working its way up from his toes._

_“Hmm,” Haru hummed, cocking his head to the side and basking in the startled stare Rin was pinning him with, wanting to reach out and pinch his already pink cheeks, nip at the tips of his cherry-red ears and tug at his magenta locks. “I left my bag at yours…” feeling ever more confident, Haru punctuated his slightly-more-than-suggestive declaration with raised brows – Rin looked as though he might collapse. Practically all the blood in his body had rushed to his face, tinting even his scalp a deep red colour that blended flawlessly with his hair. His chest heaved as he gazed at Haruka, eyes glassy and more than a little hazy._

_“You-“ he began, voice catching in his throat. “I- but-“ Haru laughed softly._

_“I’ll collect it on Monday when I see you in English. Goodnight…Rin.” When Rin didn’t reply, he shook his head slightly with an amused smile ghosting across his lips. His eyes tightened with something Rin was too scared to class as affection, before the sparkling blue was gone from his gaze and the street was bare with only Rin standing frozen in place, the breeze and the moon for company._

_***_

Muffling another grin into his pillow, Rin sighed heavily and pulled his blanket all the way up to his chin, snuggling down under them until only the top of his head peeked out. Squeezing his eyes shut, Rin brushed his fingertips across his cheek as if feeling for the brand Haruka’s lips had left there. _Haruka’s lips._ Rin cheeks flushed at the phrase.

 _Not Nanase’s lips, but Haruka’s. Haru’s._ Rin’s heart leapt giddily and a trail of erratic laughter bubbled from his chest at the realisation that he could say that now, could call him that face to face without having to worry about his reaction. Flipping over onto his back, Rin flung his arms over his head with a breathy sigh as his eyes drooped slightly. _Jesus,_ he thought, _Monday can’t come quickly enough._

~  

“What the fuck dude, it’s 7am who do you thi- wa! Na-Haruka?!”

“Hey…are those your pajamas?”

“Whaaa? No, of course-“

“They’re nice.”

“Ah, right, um-”

“…”

“…So, what’s up?”

“I came for my bag.”

“Your- Oh! Right, yeah, sorry. It’s here, one second…”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem.”

“…”

“…*cough* So, uh, what’s up?”

“You asked me that already.”

“ _Shit_ \- I, sorry, you just-“

“What?”

“Er, you just, make me nervous I guess haha.”

“Really?”

“Erm, I mean- not in a bad way, you know?”

“…”

“Look, forget it, I just mean-“

“Rin.”

“Y-yeah?”

“…Do you want to get breakfast?”

“Yeah, okay… but no mackerel, dumbass.”

“Hmm.”

~  
  
“Matsuouka, hey! Rin!” Sosuke’s voice called out across the hallway, muffled by the rumble of students flooding towards the exits for lunch break. His shoulder bag slapped against the back of his thigh as he twisted himself through the crowd, avoiding various flailing limbs that accompanied that 1 o’clock rush. The red head he was chasing after was walking briskly in the opposite direction, elbowing through the crowd at an astonishing rate. Sousuke huffed and pushed on.

“Rin!” he tried again – this time he was successful. Thankfully, the crowds were parting. Sousuke shifted he bag higher onto his shoulder, leaning against the stair rail and peering at Rin suspiciously. “Where are you off to at such high speeds?”

Rin scoffed and gave him a sharp glare, tugging on the end of his ponytail irritably. “Somewhere.” Sousuke sighed and rolled his eyes, cocking his head to the side.

“I thought we could get lunch?”

Rin shifted sheepishly, eyes flickering from Sousuke’s face to his watch and back. “I’d love to, I just, ah, got somewhere else I gotta be right now…” Rin’s cheeks brightened with every word.

“Oh my god, Nanase _again_ Rin?” The redhead gave him an affronted look, twisting the leather bracelet encircling his wrist and scowling at Sousuke, the blush on his cheeks softening the look considerably.

“What do you mean, _again_?”

“You eat with him every day. You study with him every day. I’m happy for you, you know I am but-“

“We’re just friends!”

Sousuke quirked his lip. “I didn’t imply anything else…” Rin flushed a shade darker – if that was possible – and shifted his stance slightly. He hands moved up to clutch the straps of his backpack and his neck was flushed a peachy pink colour.

“You- you were saying it as if you thought it was something more than a-“

“Obsession?”

“Eh?! Obsession!? I’m not some weird stalker guy, Sousuke, god!”

“I’m just saying, you gotta be sure you’re not being too obvious.”

“Ha, like _you’d_ know what being obvious was!”

“Well, for starters, I’m sure daydreaming, prolonged staring and practically on-the-clock blushing counts as kind of obvious. Plus, you talk about him all the time!”

“Talk about who all the time?”

Sousuke yelped, eyes darting to rest behind Rin’s head, where a familiar shock of dark hair and piercing eyes were gazing at him curiously. Rin made a faint noise not far from a moan and proceeded to busy himself with simultaneously trying to stop blushing and keep the scared look off his face – he failed, resulting in a pained look, as if someone had just kicked him.

“What, no one Haru, where did you even get that haha-“

“I heard you and Yamazaki talking about someone- wait, Rin, are you okay?” Sousuke stopped staring at Haru and instead focussed his gaze on Rin, whose face was drained of colour and seemed to be swaying slightly. Sousuke gave Rin a sharp lookhoping to convey just how _obvious obvious obvious_ Rin was being.

“It’s nothing.” Sousuke supplied to fill the nervous aura practically radiating off Rin. “Just some British artist Rin’s discovered.”

“Yep, Haru knows I love music!!!” _I said not obvious, dumbass._ Sousuke sighed deeply, offered Haru a reassuring smile – he was staring at Rin with furrowed brows, worry clear on his calm face – and jerked his head behind him.

“Well, see you guys later.” He turned to leave, before calling over his shoulder, “Yo, Nanase! It’s One Direction – get Rin to show you some time.”

Rin’s groan was music to his ears. “What?! Sousuke, you little shit!”

“Rin, who’s One Direction?” Haru chimed in with interest and Sousuke mentally patted himself on the back. It was all well and good Rin abandoning him every day – but that isn’t to say it didn’t come with consequences.

~

In hind sight, Rin knew he was obvious.

Occasionally, his eyes wandered to Haruka and only left when class was over, or when the boy in question gave him a curious look that had Rin’s cheeks alight with embarrassment. Luckily, those moments were glossed over and Rin was still safe in the knowledge that Nanase Haruka was still unknowing to the downright _stupid_ thoughts he had.

He could ignore the warmth in his chest whenever the blue eyed boy was near, he could grit his teeth through the coil of static that buzzed in his stomach whenever Haruka stared at him too long or tugged on the end of his hair playfully or brushed their fingers together inadvertently or said something so damn adorable that Rin just wanted to reach out and squeeze his cheeks or punch him. He could live with that.

He could live with the awkward moments too, and the cute ones that made Rin think back to all those stupid romance films his sister used to watch.

Take now, for example. Sitting with his back pressed up against the hard bench in a small park not far from the cute coffee shop Haru liked to frequent, steam rising from his cup as he watched Haru picking at the sandwich he held. His dark hair was falling over his face, stark against his pale skin that was tinged with the slightest flush of heat and he was so _pretty_ , girly in every way but still so guylike and Rin could just stare for days or- blue eyes flashed to his. Rin’s thumb tapped at the rim of his cup as he pulled his gaze away and hummed casually.

Haru cocked his head to the side. “What?”

“What?”

“…you were staring at me?”

“Huh? Oh! I just wondered if your sandwich was good.”

Haru smiled softly, flipping the hair out of his eyes. He stared at Rin for a second, eyes wide and – Rin gulped – sparkling and it’d had been, what, 3 weeks and Haru was basically taking over his life. _And you’re not complaining…_

“Open.”

Safe to say, Rin nearly dropped his coffee.

“W-hat?”

“I said open.”

“For what?!”

“Sandwich.”

“Don’t be an idio-ffhhm!”

Rin’s cheeks ballooned as Haru proceeded to shove his entire sandwich in, taking advantage of Rin’s open mouth to stuff it full of the food. Rin shot him a glare, eyes watering as he tried his hardest to swallow but Haru just _giggled -_ the coffee wobbled precariously, as did Rin’s stomach. The redhead gasped as oxygen flooded his airways.

“You ass!” he mumbled, rubbing at his jaw with his free hand. Grinning, Haru reached over and plucked the cup from Rin’s hand and lifted it to his lips.

“You asked,” he shot back, eyes wide and innocent as they peered at Rin over the tendrils of steam. He took a small sip of the hot coffee, nose wrinkling as he swallowed. _Looks like a rabbit,_ Rin thought as he gazed at the boy beside him. _Just…_

“…like a rabbit wait what.” For about the 5th time that morning, Rin’s cheeks matched his hair.

Haru’s gaze snapped to him in a millisecond. “What?”

“Hmm?

“Did you just call me a rabbit?”

“haha, no? What’s up with you Haru?”

Haru didn’t reply, just hummed and looked away. Rin let out a breath, mentally punching himself.

_What the fuck dude, you sound like a complete weirdo. What do you think Haru’s thinking about you now? Idiot idiot, you shouldn’t have said anything, you should have kept quiet you know what happens when you open your mouth around him-_

“You don’t have to worry so much, you know.”

“What?”

“I can see you worrying. And I’m saying you don’t have to.” Haru set the cup down to his side, turning in his seat to face Rin, who stared back at him sheepishly.

“I know, I just- I think too much.”

“I know.” Haru stared at him for a moment, so intensely that all Rin wanted to do was look away, look anywhere but his face. “Why is that?”

Rin shrugged. “Because you make me think.”

Haru’s smile was gentle as he stood and brushed the crumbs off his lap. Grabbing his bag with one hand, he held the other out to Rin. “I’m glad, you know. That I make you think.”

_Sweaty palms sweaty palms don’t think stop thinking don’t haru_

Rin reached out and grasped them with his own, pulling himself to his feet. “I’m glad that you make me think too.”

And it felt like the most natural thing in the world to Haru, squeezing Rin’s hand lightly before tugging him away from the bench and back out onto the street.

 ~

But not every movie has a happy ending.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EDIT// suddenly, a wild fanmix appears  
> http://8tracks.com/cmberbatched/a-flood-of-blood-to-the-heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and we have reached the end :'(
> 
> thank you so much to anyone who gave this a chance - not bad for a first Free! fic imo :3
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it - que v long final chapter with a good dose of feels and just a lil bit of fluff-smut ^-^
> 
> BUT ONE MORE THING i don't know the last thing about anxiety, so please please please don't take this as correct or anything like what people experience when they have anxiety attacks, it's purely fictional etc
> 
> (pls don't hate me this chapter is unedited as per)

_“Rin, honey, say something.”_

“…”

_“We need you here, Rin. I need you here, your sister needs you here.”_

“Mum, I can’t just-“

_“We can no longer fund your courses, Rin. I- I didn’t want to tell you like this. Your father left me.”_

“What?!”

_“Don’t sound so surprised, honey, it was obvious even to me.”_

“How are you so calm about this?!”

_“Because I’d seen it coming for the past 3 years, Rin. No, don’t interrupt, just hear me out! Your aunt and I have had a long conversation and both come to the conclusion that the best thing for us right now would be to relocate somewhere else. Somewhere where I can get a good job fast, where you and Gou can study and-”_

“Where, mum?”

_“Well, I-“_

“Where?”

_“…Australia.”_

“….what?”

_“Rin, honey, don’t-“_

“Fuck… fuck, mum, you can’t do this-“

_“Rin. Listen to me. I don’t want to do this: I know you weren’t close with your father, none of us really were, but honey, right now, we need to save as much money as possible for the move. The divorce will cost us a lot and the payment for your university was okay when we had your father to fund it but now, at this point, I can’t –“_

“You don’t understand, mum, I can’t leave! It’s not just about the courses, mum, there’s people here that I’d never see again and-“

_“I understand that, Rin. But there are means of communication you can use and I’m sure they’d all understand. I’m ringing the university tomorrow morning to get everything finalised, I mean there’s no set dates yet but we should really get moving soon, get your references for the next one you apply to-“_

_“_ Why Australia, mum? Why not somewhere close?”

_“Australia is fairly close, dear, and your aunt and uncle have contacts out there that can get you into a good university, and you know we have cousins living over there already who will be able to help you settle in-“_

“But I don’t want to settle in! I want to be here, in Tokyo! You don’t understand, mum, right now is the worst time I could possibly ever- You know how I get, how could you-”

_“I know, honey, but things are better now! You told me yourself! Sometimes, Rin, sacrifices have to be made for the greater good of the family. This is one of those times. I have to go, Gou just got home from school. We’ll talk about this again soon.”_

“Right.”

_“I love you, Rin, always remember that.”_

“Hmph.”

_“Think of it this way – there’s nothing tying you to Tokyo any more, now that your father’s gone. Why would you even want to stay?”_

-Call Disconnected-

~

And that’s how Haruka found him: curled in on himself, back pressed against the wall, arms wrapped tight around his knees and head bent low between them, his arms up around his head with the sleeves of his sweater pulled down over his hands. Slow, ragged breaths echoed through the empty corridor punctuated by occasional muffled sob that sent a hot jolt down Haruka’s throat. Keeping his footsteps gentle, Haru approached the broken boy slowly.

Noting the discarded mobile lying next to Rin, the blue eyed boy lowered himself down, kneeling in front of Rin. His arms twitched at his sides; he made no move to touch the other.

“Rin?” his voice was quiet, almost a whisper, but Rin started in shock as if it had been a shout. Wide, glistening eyes stared up at Haru blindly, moisture glistening at the corners threateningly. Rin sniffed, an awful, wet sound and Haru found his hands moving to rest on Rin’s knees, the single point of contact sending warmth flowing back into Rin’s cold body. “It’s happening again, right?”

As if some invisible dam had broken, the tears began to leak down Rin’s cheeks, running down into his hair line as he threw his head back against the wall with a bang. Something hot and acidic clawed at Haru’s throat, seeing the tears run down Rin’s cheeks freely as sob after sob racked his chest and he felt heat well up in his _own_ eyes.

Which was stupid, as he had nothing to cry about and while he didn’t have the faintest idea what was wrong with Rin, he was sensible enough not to say anything more, just grasp Rin by the wrists and haul him gently to his feet. Snaking an arm around the sweater-clad waist of the weeping boy, and knowing Rin hasn’t even made it inside yet, he reached into the back pocket of Rin’s jeans (Haru knows for a fact something is seriously wrong when no blush stains Rin’s cheeks) and pulled out the key to the apartment.

In seconds, Haruka fumbled Rin inside in an attempt to keep both of them upright while trying to simultaneously lock the door behind them. Luckily, Rin seemed to come to his senses a little more and the tears had slowed to a trickle after feeling Haru pressed against him.

“H-Haru,” he croaked, stumbling blindly into the flat as Haru groped in the darkness for the light switch.

“Shh,” Haru soothed, taking Rin by the arm again and leading him to his bedroom. No awkward blushes, no stammered retorts or questions or cocky grins – Rin followed him without a word, swallowing hard as tears threatened to spill over again. He slumped onto the bed with an exhausted huff, pulling his legs up to his chest as he curled into his natural, foetal position.

“Oh god oh god oh god,” Rin whispered over and over again, eyes squeezed shut tightly and knuckles white where they gripped the covers. The redhead’s breaths were shallow and short, his chest rising and falling sharply. Haruka had no idea what to do. He took a tentative step towards the bed but stopped dead in his tracks as Rin clasped a hand across his mouth, throat bobbing and shoulders shaking. Suddenly, the room was too hot and stuffy and the small tendrils of panic that had been simmering within Haru rose again with renewed force.

“Shit,” he muttered, then louder again. “Shit.”

_What to do, what do I do, why didn’t Rin talk about this, I didn’t know it was this bad_

Thoughts chased themselves around his head, mind fogging as he tried to formulate some sort of plan. Rin was paler and trembling, breaths more like wheezes and he’d long since stopped muttering to himself. The tears staining his cheeks had slowed to trickles, which Haru took to be a good sign; he took a shaky step forward, placing a hand on Rin shoulder lightly.

“Rin?” he asked gently.

The red eyes that snapped to him were wild and wide and practically screamed PANIC. Haru swallowed past the lump in his throat, watching the way Rin’s eyes scanned over his face without a hint of recognition.

Steeling himself, Haru gave Rin a small shake, repeated his name a little louder and tried to keep the fear from his voice.

“Rin! It’s okay, whatever’s wrong, it’s going to be fine,” Rin just shook his head, eyes staring past Haru’s into whatever was playing out in his head. _He won’t listen,_ Haru thought as he watched Rin’s shoulders shake, eyes puffy and red with tears (both shed and unshed) and hands clasped together gently at his chest, _you need to snap him out of it._

Tentatively, Haru reached out a hand and placed it against Rin’s flushed cheek, running his thumb over the smooth skin of his cheekbone. Rin froze, “oh my god”s turning to “what the fuck”s as he felt Haru touch him ( _actually touch me for real his skin on my skin what_ ), body stilling as Haru’s other hand came to mirror the first, gently cupping his face and brushing over his eyebrows. Scooting down to kneeling-level, Haru turned Rin’s face to stare directly at him.

“Rin,” he murmured, “Calm down, right?” The panic was slowly leaking from Rin’s eyes, being replaced by a dazed sort of curiousness that made Haru’s throat bob instinctively. The boy before him nodded gently, taking a deep breath through his nose that tickled at Haru’s wrists. A small blush was gathering in the hollows of his cheeks and Rin’s breathing seemed to be better. Satisfied that Rin was no longer in full panic-mode, Haru gave him a small smile and – after a moment or two or three or four – withdrew his hands and moved away.

He looked so vulnerable, Haruka mused as he stood in the doorway, watching Rin slump tiredly onto the pillows. _Give him time._ He fought off the urge to walk straight up to Rin and cover both those hands with his own, to pepper his blotchy skin with feather kisses and scrape his damp hair back off his forehead. Instead, he left the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

~

_Australia._

The word felt like a punch in the gut, hard and fast. It was just his luck, really. Everything in his life (for once) had been sort of good: good school, good flat, good food, good Haru (what) good family…or as good as it could be.

His mother and father had dated and married in a rushed affair full of plastered-over doubt. She’d been so sure of his devotion to her, practically blinded by his pearly smile and sharp teeth that she’d been more than happy to avert her eyes when the cracks began to form, mostly on his side of the house. Even to Rin, only young at the time, could see the difference in the strength of their feelings to one another.

Up until now, they’d had more than enough moneyfor Rin’s fees and for Gou’s education but it seemed now they needed something to get them back on track. And that something just had to be in Australia, millions of miles away.

Rin fist clenched on the kitchen table, knuckles tightening and nails digging into the soft flesh of his palm. _Australia._ He felt anger rise in his throat, flames flickering in his chest as his heart thumped painfully. _So far away, a whole different country, new people, new language, new everything shit_ – the cool brush of fingers on his shoulder pulled him from his thoughts like a magnet.

Haru hovered behind him uncertainly, one hand resting lightly on Rin’s back and the other grasping a steaming mug of coffee. Inhaling deeply, Rin smiled weakly at the raven haired boy as he accepted the drink and tried to appear cheerful – he wasn’t fooling Haru, who frowned at him deeply and pulled up a chair by his side. Sitting down quietly, blue eyes stared as Rin lifted the drink to his mouth and sipped at it softly. Magenta eyes were tight with anxiousness and withheld emotion and his face looked drawn, more pale than Haru had ever seen.

“Rin,” Haru began, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Rin laughed bitterly as a small grimace twisted his lips. He put the coffee down slowly, eyes staring into the murky, dark liquid emitting tendrils of steam into the tense kitchen air. “We’re going to have to at some point,” he muttered, more to himself than Haru, “Why not now?” Haruka was silent as Rin shifted in his chair – not to look at Haru, but to stare out of the window at the darkening sky of Tokyo.

His eyes were heavy and tired, rimmed with red and his lips curved down in defeat. His jaw was clenched and his cheeks looked waxy in the half light, and despite his matted hair Rin still looked beautiful. Haru had long since accepted the fact that Rin was attractive but it was times like this, alone and quiet and vulnerable, that it really hit him.

“I’m moving.”

Blue eyes widened in shock and a thick air of dread settled over his limbs like storm clouds.

“What do you mean?” he choked. His palms prickled and Rin still wouldn’t look at him.

“What do you think it means, Haru?” Swallowing thickly, Haruka blinked slowly and took a deep breath. Rin’s gaze was riveted on the sky outside which was pinkening with the setting sun and the glow of the bustling city.

“…Where?”

“What?”

“Where are you going?”

Rin was silent for 1, 2, 3 heartbeats after the question.

“Australia.” He murmured so quietly that Haru thought he must have imagined it, the words getting swept away in the drafts of fear whipping around Haru’s head and chest.

“Rin?”

No reply.

“Look at me.”

Abruptly, wide eyes were meeting Haru’s own, so full of emotion and glistening with unshed tears that Haru couldn’t bear it – his throat collapsed in on itself and he gasped for breath at the next words that tumbled out in a desolate baritone, ricocheting off the inside of Haru’s head.

“Australia, okay? I’m moving to Australia, Haru.” Defeat coated the words, cold and empty. Despite the weight of a thousand tonnes of water seemingly lifted from the confession, Rin’s head pounded and his bones were on fire. His whole body begged for sleep, to lie down and sink into the darkness and never wake up.

His tongue was sandpaper dry in his mouth. His coffee sat abandoned on the table, the small tendrils of delicate steam escaping into the air. They were the only movement in the room. He felt the other boy’s eyes on him, never wavering in their shaken stare. Without looking, Rin knew he was gazed upon in pity

and he couldn’t bear it anymore. Anger and shame and fear caught like wildfire in his limbs setting his neck on fire and making his eyes burn with the intense heat. The legs of his chair scraped sharply against the floor as he leapt out of it jerkily, coffee cascading down the side of his mug as his thighs knocked the table. Liquid flooded across the table, a miniature sea in the desert-like storm of emotions battering at him. Haruka started in shock.

“Rin, don’t-“The redhead ignored him, a desperate sob ripping from his chest. Haru scrabbled to his feet, knee bashing sharply against the table in his haste.

“Shit,” he spat, shaking off the pain and rushing after a staggering Rin. “Rin, please-“

Ignoring Haru’s imploring voice, Rin fumbled with the door to his bedroom. Stumbling inside, another broken sob erupted from his chest. His skin felt suffocating and he all but threw himself onto his bed. He felt tears chase down his cheeks, running into his hairline and making the back of his throat burn. His head pounded, the same words chasing around and around inside his skull, hammering against his eyelids and knocking at his temples. _I don’t want to go I don’t want to go I don’t want to go I don’t I don’t I don’t I-_

“Rin!” Desperate fingers grabbed at the back of his shirt, gripping his shoulders and pulling his face back away from the pillow it was buried under. White hot panic thumped in Haru’s ears as he turned Rin to face him. Rin’s eyes were puffy and swollen, his nose was running and his mouth was twisted into a miserable grimace. Despite Haru being right there in front of him, Rin’s eyes never fully focussed in the raven haired boy.

“I don’t want to go,” Rin was whispering, “I don’t want to go, please, I don’t-“

“Rin, look at me.”

“I don’t-“

“ _Rin.”_

Rin’s eyes widened as Haru’s nose brushed his cheek. The choking tide of emotions that had wiped his mind clean like a slate evaporated as skin touched skin. The small pinpoint of contact between them was enough to drag Rin from under the surface, a small puff of breath escaping through parted lips as heat washed over him. Haru felt Rin tense under him, the turmoil of words halting in their flow before he all but collapsed in on himself. Rin’s body buckled, his head coming to land on Haru’s shoulder with a soft thud.

Warm breath ghosted across Haru’s neck and his collarbone, making him shiver. He felt fingers curling around his back, burrowing into the fabric of his shirt as Rin’s arms moved embrace him. He was sniffling softly, probably all over Haru’s clothes, but the shaking of Rin’s shoulders was slowly easing and Haru couldn’t care less. Feeling Rin’s cheek press more firmly against his neck, he pressed his own cheek into the soft hair atop Rin’s head, letting out a soft sigh. he ventured to break the silence stretching between them.

“I don’t want you to go.” Haru murmured raggedly. _God, Rin, you have no idea how much I don’t want you to go, you can’t just leave, not now, not yet not before-_ He felt the warmth that had envelope him draw back, the sharp cold of the flat biting at his skin. Before he could process what was happening, soft lips were pressing against his own insistently. Strong fingers came up to brush against his cheek, one threading into his dark hair while the other slid around to cradle the back of his head. Rin tasted of tears and coffee, of chlorine and – Haru’s gasped as teeth tugged gently on his bottom lip – _safe_.

Paralysed by the rush of heat coursing through him and settling in his cheeks and stomach, Haru couldn’t do much more than gasp in surprise and stare at Rin’s closed eyes lids, so close to his own, in utter shock. Haru’s vision was tinged with white, static buzzing in his ears and his breath shallow and hot in his mouth.

When Rin pulled back, a slight frown creasing his forehead at Haru’s lack of response, wild blue eyes were burning into his own. Long, delicate fingers unlocked themselves from the death grip they had taken on the bed sheets beneath them and dragged themselves slowly across the jean-clad knee that was pressed against Haru’s hip.

“H-Haru?”  Haruka’s face was contorted with something – Rin swallowed hard – that looked akin to pain, his eyes screwed shut and lips damp and pink, pressed together in a thin line. The fingers dancing on his knee stilled at the sound of Rin’s voice. “Shit, I’m sorry, I thought-“ he made to pull away, but was stopped by a low growl emanating from the statue in front of him.

“ _Rin.”_

“Wh-Haru?”

Finally, Haruka opened his eyes. His pupils were blown wide, the dark circles nearly engulfing the crystal clear blue that practically _glowed._ Rin started in shock, licking his lips nervously. An animalistic strain seemed to roll of Haru, whose shoulders were vibrating with tension but Rin couldn’t tear his gaze away. Haru’s hair was mussed were Rin had run his fingers through it, his cheeks were bright with colour and his lips parted softly as Rin stared at him.

“Rin.”

Haru shifted closer, reaching out a hand to curl it around Rin’s slim wrist. His knees brushed against Rin’s thighs and Haru heard a strangled sound bubble up from the other’s chest. Rin opened his mouth to reply, eyes wide and cautious. Before the words could escape though, Haru’s hand was moving away from his wrist and a single finger was being placed on his parted lips.

“Stop…” _Rin Rin Rin only Rin, nothing else, his hair, his eyes, his mouth, the way he Rin-_ his nose brushed against Rin’s, warm breath melding in the small space between them. Breathing deeply through his nose, Haru let his eyes drift shut, Rin’s scent engulfing him as waves of calm lapped over him. Removing his finger, he felt Rin move closer still. Their lips brushed hesitantly, a millisecond of contact that left Haru aching for more. _“… **talking**._ ”

~

Teeth clacked against each other clumsily, drawing stifled laughter and muttered apologies.

Muffled groans and murmured nothings broke the eerie freeze-frame of silence around them.

Haru’s whole body burned, trails of scorching fire licking across his skin where Rin’s fingers lingered.

“ _Shit,_ Haru-“ Rin’s shoulder trembled where Haru’s lips peppered feather-light half-kisses across the delicate skin of his neck, dawdling at his pulse point and placing a well-timed nip at the soft skin there. Rin’s back was pressed up against his bedroom wall, the once neatly made sheets of his bed well and truly forgotten as fingers brushed against his stomach and danced across his ribs.

Sucking in a sharp breath, his whole body shook under the touches. His mind was reeling, all thoughts of Australia chased away by the trailing path of Haru’s tongue on his skin and fingers in his hair. Aching for contact of his own, Rin locked his hands around Haru’s hips, thumbs brushing under the hem of his shirt which drew a long sigh from Haruka. The dark haired boy felt as if he were floating, the softness of Rin’s skin and the warmth radiating from his body making his eyes heavy and head clouded.

“Rin,” he sighed, hands coming to rest on his muscular shoulders. Utter contentment fizzled through his veins, the warmth that settled low in his stomach making everything burn a little brighter. He nuzzled his nose into the soft skin where Rin’s jaw met his neck, settling against the other boy whose hands left his hips and slowly moved to brush over his behind. His moan was muffled against Rin’s skin but it reverberated throughout his body, making him shiver.

Warm fingers proceeded to run up and down his spine, lingering on each vertebrae and making goose bumps erupt all over Haru’s arms. The events of that evening felt a world away. All sense of time had been lost when their lips had first brushed, the levee of pent up emotion finally crumbling in both of them. The harsh reality of Rin’s predicament was only now beginning to seep back into Haru’s mind, thoroughly unwanted, as the heat between them cooled enough for Haru to draw breath and stop his head from spinning. Drawing back, Haru gazed into Rin’s eyes which were lidded and hazy.

“Why do you have to leave?” he whispered, voice cracking. Rin slumped against the wall and sighed deeply. His eyes wandered from Haru’s and he fiddled absentmindedly with a thread on the hem of Haru’s t-shirt. 

“My dad left my mum,” he admitted softly, the words bitter and too real in his mouth. “We can’t afford to pay my tuition anymore.” He swallowed before continuing, “He was a dick, really, but he had money and never left us in any financial trouble before. With his money around, we could keep me in a good university, keep my sister in school and keep my mum from getting depressed. She thought he loved her,” Rin smiled harshly, “but it was pretty clear even to 10 year old me that that wasn’t the case. We’re moving to Australia, we have cousins out there and my mum’s sister who can get her a good job, get me and Gou back into school and let us stay with them for a bit. The divorce will basically wipe us clean but we’ve got enough for flights over there and enough to last us until mum really starts earning some money.” He finished with a wry smile, glancing back up at Haruka who was gazing at him wordlessly.

A slight blush stained Rin’s cheeks as he dropped Haru’s shirt and brushed a thumb hesitantly over his cheek – all traces of crying were gone and Rin’s mouth curved into a grin as he continued. “I told her, you know. I told mum I couldn’t leave, not now when I’d finally met some people. I told her if I left now there were people here I would never see again. I tried, I really tried to make her see that I couldn’t leave now because yes, there was school and work and everything like that, but there was also _you._ ” Rin took a deep, ragged breath.

"You weren’t meant to happen, you know. I wasn’t meant to think about you all the goddamn _time_ , or get all flustered when you looked at me like you wanted to kill me or kiss me, when you smiled or said something stupid. But I also blame you, idiot, because you weren’t meant to like swimming or, on top of everything else, ask me to swim _with_ you.” Rin broke off with a small chuckle which faded as he gazed at the boy in front of him, his eyes were intense and tired; Haru wanted to wipe them clean, replace the emotions with happiness and warmth. "I guess you can tell I've never really felt this way before...never had the chance really, or found the right person or whatever or- well you know, they never really clicked with the way I was, always freaked out-" he paused, nibbling at his lip. "But you...you didn't,” he continued, “And here we are now.” A ripple of fear made Haru’s toes curl at the finality that echoed in Rin’s words.

“This isn’t goodbye.” He protested weakly but Rin just grinned at him softly.

“Of course not, idiot, you’re stuck with me for another week yet. You think I’d leave without another rematch?” he poked at Haru’s side playfully before tugging gently on the dark fringe of hair hanging down across shining blue eyes. “Come on, Nanase. Fancy a swim?”

“It’s night time.”

A bark of laughter warm and bright.   
Magenta eyes filled with hope and affection, gazing at him and only him.  
Warm skin and the promise of anything and everything.  
A challenge and a privilege.

“As if that stopped us before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mm the cheese is real
> 
> adios amigos, stay tuned for more rinharu goodness when I can be bothered :D


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